1
00:00:52,815 --> 00:00:55,350
- Hi. How are you?
- I'm good. Thanks.
2
00:00:55,485 --> 00:00:56,711
Who do I make this out to?
3
00:00:56,847 --> 00:00:58,222
Uh, Bobbi with an "I".
4
00:01:02,560 --> 00:01:04,856
In the prologue, you
say you wrote this book
5
00:01:04,991 --> 00:01:06,831
in order to better
understand and accept death.
6
00:01:07,501 --> 00:01:08,658
Um...
7
00:01:08,793 --> 00:01:10,895
Yeah. It feels unnatural to me.
8
00:01:11,030 --> 00:01:13,538
I can't accept that
something alive has to die.
9
00:01:13,673 --> 00:01:14,700
Thank you.
10
00:01:15,842 --> 00:01:16,842
- Ingrid...
- Mm.
11
00:01:16,910 --> 00:01:18,272
We've fulfilled the hour.
12
00:01:18,407 --> 00:01:19,771
I mean, in fact,
we've gone over.
13
00:01:19,906 --> 00:01:21,912
Well, there's still a
lot of people waiting.
14
00:01:22,047 --> 00:01:23,879
Yes. We'll do what you want.
15
00:01:24,015 --> 00:01:25,079
Could you sign mine?
16
00:01:25,215 --> 00:01:27,446
Stella! I didn't see you.
17
00:01:27,582 --> 00:01:29,181
Why didn't you come straight up?
18
00:01:29,316 --> 00:01:30,655
I was embarrassed.
19
00:01:30,790 --> 00:01:32,056
You draw a crowd!
20
00:01:32,192 --> 00:01:33,497
- A lot of young people.
- Thank you.
21
00:01:33,521 --> 00:01:34,951
Not just women.
22
00:01:35,086 --> 00:01:36,952
Stella, this is Anne.
Anne, my friend Stella.
23
00:01:37,087 --> 00:01:38,607
- Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.
24
00:01:38,728 --> 00:01:40,443
I'm gonna stay until I've
signed for everybody.
25
00:01:40,467 --> 00:01:42,633
Yes. I'll just make sure
no one else joins the line.
26
00:01:42,768 --> 00:01:44,497
Okay.
27
00:01:44,633 --> 00:01:46,595
Oh, I haven't seen
you in forever.
28
00:01:46,731 --> 00:01:48,102
I'm living in Boston now.
29
00:01:48,237 --> 00:01:49,635
I came to see my son,
30
00:01:49,770 --> 00:01:51,341
and to visit Martha
in the hospital.
31
00:01:53,277 --> 00:01:55,074
You know she has cancer, right?
32
00:01:55,209 --> 00:01:56,209
It's a bad one.
33
00:01:56,275 --> 00:01:57,439
Martha?
34
00:01:57,574 --> 00:01:58,574
Martha Hunt?
35
00:01:58,618 --> 00:01:59,975
Yes.
36
00:02:00,111 --> 00:02:01,657
She's at Manhattan
Memorial Cancer Center.
37
00:02:01,681 --> 00:02:03,288
I thought you would've heard.
38
00:02:03,423 --> 00:02:05,223
No. To be honest, I
haven't seen her in years.
39
00:02:05,258 --> 00:02:07,423
Martha is sick? I
can't imagine it.
40
00:02:07,559 --> 00:02:09,891
If you go see her, it'll
make her very happy.
41
00:02:10,026 --> 00:02:11,553
Yeah. Of course.
42
00:02:11,688 --> 00:02:13,565
Of course I will.
43
00:02:13,700 --> 00:02:16,601
Um, thank you so much for
coming. I really appreciate it.
44
00:02:16,736 --> 00:02:17,736
Congratulations.
45
00:02:17,872 --> 00:02:18,970
- Thank you.
- Mm!
46
00:02:19,106 --> 00:02:19,968
- I'll see you soon.
- Thanks.
47
00:02:20,104 --> 00:02:21,104
- Bye.
- Bye.
48
00:02:23,973 --> 00:02:24,973
Hi.
49
00:02:27,105 --> 00:02:29,313
- Who do I make this out to?
- Frances.
50
00:02:30,679 --> 00:02:33,179
- Is that you?
- No, it's my girlfriend.
51
00:02:33,315 --> 00:02:34,985
She really admires you.
52
00:02:35,121 --> 00:02:36,683
- So do I.
- Thank you.
53
00:02:40,117 --> 00:02:43,019
Could you write "It
won't happen again"?
54
00:02:45,556 --> 00:02:47,692
Of course I can.
55
00:02:47,828 --> 00:02:50,202
Yes. Thank you. It
won't happen again.
56
00:02:52,596 --> 00:02:53,596
I hope not.
57
00:03:09,784 --> 00:03:12,288
Hi. I'm here to
see Martha Hunt.
58
00:03:12,424 --> 00:03:13,988
I think she's on the 16th floor.
59
00:03:14,124 --> 00:03:15,359
Okay. One sec.
60
00:03:17,929 --> 00:03:20,189
Yes. Room 1614.
61
00:03:20,324 --> 00:03:22,427
The elevator is at the end
of the hall, on the left.
62
00:03:22,563 --> 00:03:23,693
- Thanks.
- No problem.
63
00:03:45,989 --> 00:03:46,989
Martha?
64
00:03:48,322 --> 00:03:49,393
Ingrid!
65
00:03:50,555 --> 00:03:53,022
What a surprise!
66
00:03:53,158 --> 00:03:55,264
- How did you hear?
- I ran into Stella.
67
00:03:55,399 --> 00:03:57,929
- She told me.
- Oh.
68
00:03:58,064 --> 00:04:00,999
I'm so sorry, I didn't
even know you were sick.
69
00:04:01,134 --> 00:04:03,702
Oh, well, you with your
work and me with mine.
70
00:04:03,837 --> 00:04:06,407
I mean, time's
gotten away from us.
71
00:04:06,542 --> 00:04:08,104
Yes, and I was living in Paris.
72
00:04:08,239 --> 00:04:11,007
Yeah, I heard. I've
been reading about you.
73
00:04:11,143 --> 00:04:13,115
I know you have
published another book
74
00:04:13,251 --> 00:04:14,951
and it's doing very well.
75
00:04:15,086 --> 00:04:16,618
Thank you.
76
00:04:17,251 --> 00:04:18,257
So...
77
00:04:19,386 --> 00:04:21,491
How are you?
78
00:04:21,626 --> 00:04:24,626
I'm sure you're sick
of telling everybody.
79
00:04:24,761 --> 00:04:28,059
Well, it's cervical
cancer. Stage three.
80
00:04:28,194 --> 00:04:30,928
It isn't operable, but
they're treating me, so...
81
00:04:31,064 --> 00:04:34,331
looks like I'm not
gonna die quite yet.
82
00:04:34,466 --> 00:04:39,577
Um, I've become a guinea pig
for an experimental treatment
83
00:04:39,712 --> 00:04:41,944
and the results are better
than the doctors expected.
84
00:04:42,080 --> 00:04:43,779
- Great!
- Yeah.
85
00:04:43,915 --> 00:04:46,274
That's great! Well, you seem
like you're in good spirits.
86
00:04:46,409 --> 00:04:49,582
Well, I swing between
euphoria and depression.
87
00:04:49,718 --> 00:04:50,986
Oh, I'm so sorry.
88
00:04:51,121 --> 00:04:52,422
No, it's normal,
89
00:04:52,557 --> 00:04:54,816
and the doctors
warned me, you know.
90
00:04:54,952 --> 00:04:56,295
- Highs and lows.
- Mm-hmm.
91
00:04:57,159 --> 00:04:58,220
Mm-hmm.
92
00:04:59,197 --> 00:05:00,929
It'll sound absurd,
93
00:05:01,064 --> 00:05:06,402
but after all the accepting
and preparing to face the end,
94
00:05:06,538 --> 00:05:09,137
survival feels
almost disappointing.
95
00:05:09,273 --> 00:05:10,437
Oh, don't say that.
96
00:05:10,572 --> 00:05:12,311
No, I was prepared to leave.
97
00:05:15,241 --> 00:05:19,281
In fact, when they gave
me the initial diagnosis,
98
00:05:19,416 --> 00:05:20,681
I didn't want any treatment.
99
00:05:20,816 --> 00:05:22,256
Well, I'm glad you
changed your mind.
100
00:05:23,655 --> 00:05:26,453
'Cause, you know,
just the thought...
101
00:05:26,588 --> 00:05:28,160
And that I wouldn't know...
102
00:05:28,295 --> 00:05:31,055
Anyway, I realized
that I really...
103
00:05:31,190 --> 00:05:35,367
I'm not ready to abandon
the party just yet.
104
00:05:35,502 --> 00:05:39,537
But I had truly gotten
used to the idea.
105
00:05:39,673 --> 00:05:42,337
Well, I suppose that it's
good to get used to the idea,
106
00:05:42,473 --> 00:05:44,970
but without giving up, right?
107
00:05:45,105 --> 00:05:46,825
You've been through a
lot of wars, remember?
108
00:05:47,543 --> 00:05:49,271
I live with them every day.
109
00:05:52,309 --> 00:05:55,353
Oh, Ingrid, I'm so
happy to see you.
110
00:05:55,489 --> 00:05:57,682
I almost called you
a thousand times.
111
00:05:57,818 --> 00:05:59,348
- I'm sorry.
- Me, too!
112
00:05:59,483 --> 00:06:01,231
It's ridiculous that we
haven't seen each other.
113
00:06:01,255 --> 00:06:03,520
I promise I'm gonna visit
until you get sick of me.
114
00:06:03,655 --> 00:06:04,961
Will you?
115
00:06:05,096 --> 00:06:06,427
You promise?
116
00:06:06,562 --> 00:06:08,066
I'm gonna hold you to that.
117
00:06:08,202 --> 00:06:09,665
Your daughter knows, I guess.
118
00:06:10,870 --> 00:06:11,870
Yes.
119
00:06:13,530 --> 00:06:17,402
When I first made up my
mind to forgo any treatment,
120
00:06:17,538 --> 00:06:18,608
I told her...
121
00:06:19,970 --> 00:06:21,380
and she just said...
122
00:06:22,313 --> 00:06:23,448
"It's your choice."
123
00:06:24,675 --> 00:06:26,008
Period.
124
00:06:26,143 --> 00:06:29,046
As if it was something trivial,
125
00:06:29,182 --> 00:06:31,016
something that had
nothing to do with her.
126
00:06:32,688 --> 00:06:34,189
How are you two getting along?
127
00:06:34,324 --> 00:06:36,324
Um, same as ever.
128
00:06:36,459 --> 00:06:37,786
We're barely in touch.
129
00:06:37,921 --> 00:06:39,260
What does she do?
130
00:06:39,395 --> 00:06:40,762
She's doing well.
131
00:06:40,897 --> 00:06:43,996
She's, uh, an agent for
classical musicians.
132
00:06:47,206 --> 00:06:48,605
It might sound horrible,
133
00:06:50,500 --> 00:06:53,203
but I don't feel like
she's my daughter.
134
00:06:55,343 --> 00:06:58,574
I fantasize frequently about
her being swapped at birth.
135
00:06:58,709 --> 00:07:00,344
What?
136
00:07:00,479 --> 00:07:02,712
What are you talking about?
She looks just like you.
137
00:07:02,847 --> 00:07:04,049
She has your face.
138
00:07:05,723 --> 00:07:08,592
I never interested
her as a mother.
139
00:07:09,687 --> 00:07:10,789
Why not?
140
00:07:10,925 --> 00:07:12,926
I was a teenager when I had her.
141
00:07:14,435 --> 00:07:17,727
I didn't know what
to do with a baby.
142
00:07:17,862 --> 00:07:21,095
And when we started working at
Paper Magazine, you remember?
143
00:07:21,231 --> 00:07:23,374
We practically lived at night.
144
00:07:23,510 --> 00:07:25,469
You remember New
York in the '80s?
145
00:07:25,604 --> 00:07:26,906
Yeah.
146
00:07:27,041 --> 00:07:28,810
Anything important
happened at night.
147
00:07:32,542 --> 00:07:35,944
And then I went to work
as a war correspondent,
148
00:07:36,079 --> 00:07:37,748
traveling constantly.
149
00:07:37,883 --> 00:07:40,292
And that didn't help.
150
00:07:40,427 --> 00:07:42,758
My work just
completely took over.
151
00:07:46,392 --> 00:07:49,897
I was never what a
mother is supposed to be.
152
00:07:52,163 --> 00:07:55,636
But Michelle started to hate me
153
00:07:55,771 --> 00:07:57,575
long before I was away so much.
154
00:07:59,909 --> 00:08:01,642
I remember feeling
her resentment
155
00:08:01,778 --> 00:08:03,207
even when she was a little girl.
156
00:08:06,616 --> 00:08:08,553
She made herself very clear.
157
00:08:13,385 --> 00:08:17,826
She couldn't bear...
not having a father.
158
00:08:19,666 --> 00:08:22,565
She saw other girls
with their fathers
159
00:08:22,701 --> 00:08:24,998
and she wanted to
know about hers.
160
00:08:27,698 --> 00:08:30,465
At first, I told her I didn't
know who he was, but...
161
00:08:33,008 --> 00:08:34,469
it kind of made things worse.
162
00:08:36,976 --> 00:08:38,107
I was lying to her.
163
00:08:39,985 --> 00:08:41,520
Of course I knew
who her father was.
164
00:08:42,486 --> 00:08:43,885
His name was Fred.
165
00:08:50,191 --> 00:08:51,558
We dated for a few months
166
00:08:51,693 --> 00:08:53,558
before he was drafted.
167
00:08:53,693 --> 00:08:57,063
And then went away to fight,
towards the end of Vietnam.
168
00:08:58,728 --> 00:09:02,503
When he came back, a
year later, he was...
169
00:09:02,639 --> 00:09:04,031
somebody different.
170
00:09:04,167 --> 00:09:06,441
Fred! What happened?
171
00:09:06,577 --> 00:09:08,371
He was a broken toy.
172
00:09:10,041 --> 00:09:12,384
Hey. Hey, it's okay.
173
00:09:12,519 --> 00:09:14,283
I'm here. It's all
over now, Fred.
174
00:09:14,418 --> 00:09:15,681
You're back home.
175
00:09:15,817 --> 00:09:17,182
But it's not over for me.
176
00:09:20,055 --> 00:09:22,088
I still got the
war inside my head.
177
00:09:24,429 --> 00:09:25,762
I can't get free of it.
178
00:09:28,061 --> 00:09:30,129
I hallucinate every single day.
179
00:09:33,134 --> 00:09:35,706
And I was high
practically all the time.
180
00:09:40,274 --> 00:09:42,174
I don't know what I'm
doing with my life,
181
00:09:43,647 --> 00:09:45,111
but I'm not staying here.
182
00:09:49,848 --> 00:09:50,886
It's all right.
183
00:09:52,426 --> 00:09:54,954
Feel free to do what you like.
184
00:09:55,090 --> 00:09:57,024
Think about what's best for you.
185
00:10:01,298 --> 00:10:02,298
Okay.
186
00:10:04,499 --> 00:10:05,560
Thanks.
187
00:10:11,067 --> 00:10:12,072
Can I kiss you?
188
00:10:41,432 --> 00:10:43,334
- Does Michelle know this?
- Oh.
189
00:10:45,436 --> 00:10:47,608
She started asking
about her father
190
00:10:47,744 --> 00:10:49,505
as soon as she could talk.
191
00:10:52,712 --> 00:10:56,116
But it's not something you
can explain to a child, right?
192
00:10:57,782 --> 00:11:01,185
By puberty, she carved out
quite an abyss between us.
193
00:11:01,321 --> 00:11:03,288
It came to define
her adolescence.
194
00:11:05,358 --> 00:11:08,359
But, by then, I was
no longer there.
195
00:11:08,494 --> 00:11:11,835
I was in New York, with
you, living my life.
196
00:11:14,335 --> 00:11:16,432
I arranged to meet
Fred one evening
197
00:11:16,567 --> 00:11:18,508
to tell him about the situation.
198
00:11:18,644 --> 00:11:21,541
So, I took a first aid course
199
00:11:21,676 --> 00:11:24,446
and, because I'm a war veteran,
they've hired me at a hospital,
200
00:11:24,581 --> 00:11:25,607
down in San Diego.
201
00:11:27,981 --> 00:11:29,512
It's good news, right?
202
00:11:31,151 --> 00:11:32,823
I have some news for you too.
203
00:11:34,690 --> 00:11:35,694
I'm pregnant.
204
00:11:37,597 --> 00:11:40,391
- You're pregnant?
- Yes.
205
00:11:42,628 --> 00:11:45,000
But I was planning on moving
to San Diego next week.
206
00:11:47,364 --> 00:11:48,839
Then what are we gonna do?
207
00:11:48,975 --> 00:11:51,776
Whatever I do, my parents
will support me, so...
208
00:11:52,510 --> 00:11:53,510
I'm not alone.
209
00:11:55,775 --> 00:11:56,775
Mm.
210
00:11:59,082 --> 00:12:00,708
I don't think
working in a hospital
211
00:12:00,844 --> 00:12:03,718
was the best thing for
such a damaged person.
212
00:12:03,854 --> 00:12:05,218
It's the closest thing to war.
213
00:12:06,383 --> 00:12:08,386
He needed therapy and rehab.
214
00:12:08,521 --> 00:12:10,685
Yeah, that would have
been more sensible,
215
00:12:12,158 --> 00:12:13,798
but he wanted to be useful,
216
00:12:15,226 --> 00:12:17,166
to ease his conscience.
217
00:12:17,302 --> 00:12:21,433
He believed that helping people
between life and death...
218
00:12:21,568 --> 00:12:25,502
was his best chance of
getting back any peace.
219
00:12:27,211 --> 00:12:30,945
I could only free him
of any responsibility.
220
00:12:31,081 --> 00:12:33,779
He left before
Michelle was born.
221
00:12:33,914 --> 00:12:34,914
He never knew her.
222
00:12:38,089 --> 00:12:41,551
He didn't call once
to ask about her.
223
00:12:43,386 --> 00:12:45,153
When did you tell her?
224
00:12:45,288 --> 00:12:46,963
She was about 12.
225
00:12:48,660 --> 00:12:52,062
She wanted to know
where he was living...
226
00:12:52,198 --> 00:12:53,662
and I didn't know anymore.
227
00:12:55,233 --> 00:12:57,699
She was so insistent...
228
00:12:57,834 --> 00:13:00,476
that I tracked down
an old friend of his
229
00:13:00,611 --> 00:13:01,611
from high school,
230
00:13:03,081 --> 00:13:07,649
who told me that Fred
had gotten married
231
00:13:07,784 --> 00:13:09,645
and had recently died.
232
00:13:11,385 --> 00:13:14,749
I asked him for his
wife's number...
233
00:13:15,825 --> 00:13:18,124
and then I called her.
234
00:13:18,259 --> 00:13:19,831
I wanted to know
what had happened.
235
00:13:21,597 --> 00:13:26,035
She told me they were
coming home after a trip.
236
00:13:29,134 --> 00:13:30,303
Is that smoke?
237
00:13:31,608 --> 00:13:32,608
Yes.
238
00:13:33,777 --> 00:13:35,940
Something's on fire.
239
00:13:36,076 --> 00:13:37,145
There's a house on fire.
240
00:13:40,018 --> 00:13:42,248
We should call the
fire department.
241
00:13:48,661 --> 00:13:50,653
- Stop the car.
- Fred...
242
00:13:57,494 --> 00:13:58,966
What are you doing?
243
00:13:59,101 --> 00:14:00,668
- I'm gonna take a look.
- No!
244
00:14:00,804 --> 00:14:02,732
That's crazy! Fred!
245
00:14:02,867 --> 00:14:05,240
- There might be someone inside.
- Fred, stop! Stop!
246
00:14:05,376 --> 00:14:08,676
Don't go in. It's dangerous!
Look at me, I'm here.
247
00:14:08,812 --> 00:14:10,308
Let's find a gas station
248
00:14:10,444 --> 00:14:11,693
and call the fire
department, please.
249
00:14:11,717 --> 00:14:13,110
Don't you hear the screams?
250
00:14:13,246 --> 00:14:15,044
No, I don't hear anything.
251
00:14:17,217 --> 00:14:19,891
Fred, please! Fred! Fred!
252
00:14:21,022 --> 00:14:22,357
Fred, don't go in there!
253
00:14:25,390 --> 00:14:26,830
Don't you hear the screams?
254
00:14:26,966 --> 00:14:28,867
There's someone inside
crying for help!
255
00:14:30,963 --> 00:14:32,002
Fred!
256
00:14:43,845 --> 00:14:46,009
Sir! Sir!
257
00:14:46,144 --> 00:14:48,048
Please, help me!
258
00:14:48,184 --> 00:14:50,416
- Sir! Sir, please!
- Let's go!
259
00:14:50,551 --> 00:14:52,721
- Please, my husband's inside!
- Ladder up!
260
00:14:52,857 --> 00:14:54,381
Sir! My husband's inside!
261
00:14:54,517 --> 00:14:55,927
My husband's inside!
262
00:14:56,062 --> 00:14:57,467
He thought he heard
voices crying for help.
263
00:14:57,491 --> 00:14:58,864
Put two lines on
the back side, guys!
264
00:14:58,888 --> 00:15:00,490
He went into the
house trying to save
265
00:15:00,626 --> 00:15:02,198
whoever was trapped by the fire.
266
00:15:02,334 --> 00:15:03,337
Okay, get back in your
car. Do not go over there.
267
00:15:03,361 --> 00:15:04,627
I will stay here. Okay.
268
00:15:04,762 --> 00:15:06,234
Please, ma'am. Is
there someone else?
269
00:15:06,370 --> 00:15:07,507
- No, I don't know!
- Ladder up, guys! Ladder!
270
00:15:07,531 --> 00:15:08,773
There's a civilian inside!
271
00:15:08,909 --> 00:15:10,309
Get back in your
car, ma'am, please.
272
00:15:11,835 --> 00:15:12,971
All right, get in there!
273
00:15:13,107 --> 00:15:15,307
Get in that top window.
274
00:15:15,443 --> 00:15:18,246
There you go. It's
gonna blow out.
275
00:15:20,849 --> 00:15:21,876
Good boys.
276
00:15:31,592 --> 00:15:33,192
I'm sorry, there was
nothing we could do.
277
00:15:36,233 --> 00:15:39,103
He didn't get to
the second floor.
278
00:15:39,239 --> 00:15:41,462
He must have passed out from
the smoke and the flames.
279
00:15:41,597 --> 00:15:42,804
And the other bodies?
280
00:15:42,939 --> 00:15:44,438
There was nobody else.
281
00:15:44,573 --> 00:15:46,402
This house has been
abandoned for a long time.
282
00:15:46,537 --> 00:15:47,657
There was only your husband.
283
00:15:47,711 --> 00:15:50,113
But he...
284
00:15:50,248 --> 00:15:52,648
he told me he heard
screams for help...
285
00:15:52,783 --> 00:15:54,117
Impossible, ma'am.
286
00:15:55,248 --> 00:15:56,284
There was no one else.
287
00:15:57,347 --> 00:15:58,385
It's true.
288
00:16:00,422 --> 00:16:02,653
I didn't hear the
screams either.
289
00:16:04,394 --> 00:16:07,255
I tried to stop him
from going in, but...
290
00:16:08,633 --> 00:16:09,633
I didn't.
291
00:16:09,767 --> 00:16:11,759
He was very brave.
292
00:16:11,895 --> 00:16:13,595
Did you tell
Michelle all of this?
293
00:16:13,730 --> 00:16:16,437
I had to give her every detail.
294
00:16:16,572 --> 00:16:19,443
I even gave her her father's
wife's phone number.
295
00:16:19,579 --> 00:16:20,935
You know what?
296
00:16:21,070 --> 00:16:22,770
Let's get you back
to bed. You're tired.
297
00:16:22,906 --> 00:16:24,226
Yeah, but I have
to tell you this.
298
00:16:24,346 --> 00:16:26,512
We can... We can
talk more later.
299
00:16:27,587 --> 00:16:29,515
So, one day...
300
00:16:31,991 --> 00:16:34,689
- I got a call from Fred's wife.
- Okay.
301
00:16:34,824 --> 00:16:36,454
And she told me
302
00:16:36,590 --> 00:16:38,687
- that she wanted an address.
- Mm-hmm.
303
00:16:38,823 --> 00:16:40,354
She wanted to send me something.
304
00:16:40,489 --> 00:16:41,697
Mm-hm.
305
00:16:41,833 --> 00:16:44,135
And, shortly after,
306
00:16:44,270 --> 00:16:47,335
I received a note in
the mail and a letter...
307
00:16:48,998 --> 00:16:51,141
that the wife received
from Michelle,
308
00:16:52,404 --> 00:16:54,173
introducing herself
309
00:16:54,308 --> 00:16:56,179
and saying that it was her,
310
00:16:56,978 --> 00:16:58,542
Fred's daughter,
311
00:16:58,678 --> 00:17:00,975
who had been in
the burning house.
312
00:17:02,284 --> 00:17:05,449
"It was me he tried to save."
313
00:17:05,584 --> 00:17:09,851
"It was me for whom he died..."
314
00:17:09,987 --> 00:17:12,496
that's what Michelle
said to the wife.
315
00:17:12,632 --> 00:17:13,990
That's insane!
316
00:17:14,126 --> 00:17:15,126
Yes.
317
00:17:23,102 --> 00:17:24,670
Hi!
318
00:17:24,806 --> 00:17:26,207
It's Martha, the nuisance.
319
00:17:26,343 --> 00:17:28,172
You're not a nuisance.
320
00:17:28,308 --> 00:17:29,713
How're you feeling?
321
00:17:29,848 --> 00:17:31,377
Fine. I'm at home.
322
00:17:31,512 --> 00:17:33,742
The hospital's given
me a few days off
323
00:17:33,878 --> 00:17:35,577
between treatments,
so I'm at home.
324
00:17:35,713 --> 00:17:37,649
I'd love for you to come over.
325
00:17:37,784 --> 00:17:40,551
Ooh, you've caught me
in the middle of moving.
326
00:17:40,687 --> 00:17:43,357
Oh, then you're
really busy, right?
327
00:17:43,493 --> 00:17:46,428
Um, well, you know
what moving's like.
328
00:17:46,563 --> 00:17:50,693
But, um, if you're feeling
lonely, I could stop by,
329
00:17:50,829 --> 00:17:52,365
we could take a
walk in the park.
330
00:17:52,501 --> 00:17:54,895
I might not be
quite up for a walk.
331
00:17:55,031 --> 00:17:58,066
Um, okay, you know
what? Let me, um...
332
00:17:58,201 --> 00:18:01,739
Let me finish what I'm doing
and I'll be right over.
333
00:18:01,874 --> 00:18:05,083
Thanks, sweetheart,
but don't feel obliged.
334
00:18:29,539 --> 00:18:32,769
- These are for you.
- You are a darling.
335
00:18:32,905 --> 00:18:34,415
And I've brought you
a couple of books.
336
00:18:34,439 --> 00:18:36,143
Oh! Thank you.
337
00:18:36,278 --> 00:18:37,440
You want something to drink?
338
00:18:37,575 --> 00:18:39,709
Oh. I'd love some tea.
339
00:18:39,844 --> 00:18:41,986
- Herbal tea if you have it.
- Sure.
340
00:18:42,122 --> 00:18:44,122
- I'll put these in a vase.
- Okay.
341
00:18:45,419 --> 00:18:47,858
And all of this is for you.
342
00:18:47,994 --> 00:18:49,420
You have to finish all of it.
343
00:18:49,556 --> 00:18:51,760
Wow! Well, I will do my best.
344
00:18:51,896 --> 00:18:53,390
I love fruit.
345
00:18:57,532 --> 00:18:58,999
Are you working
on something new?
346
00:18:59,135 --> 00:19:00,964
Um, yeah, actually I am.
347
00:19:01,099 --> 00:19:04,367
I'm doing research on the
painter Dora Carrington
348
00:19:04,503 --> 00:19:06,641
and her, um... Mm...
349
00:19:06,777 --> 00:19:09,439
intense relationship with
the writer Lytton Strachey.
350
00:19:09,575 --> 00:19:11,573
- Mm-hm.
- Here he is.
351
00:19:11,708 --> 00:19:13,450
Uh, Strachey was gay,
352
00:19:13,586 --> 00:19:18,485
so she married the straight man
that he was infatuated with.
353
00:19:18,620 --> 00:19:20,350
It's gonna be the
story of the trio.
354
00:19:20,486 --> 00:19:22,191
It isn't groundbreaking,
355
00:19:22,327 --> 00:19:23,727
but I want to see
where it takes me.
356
00:19:23,828 --> 00:19:25,323
Here, um, look.
357
00:19:25,459 --> 00:19:26,824
Um, unfortunately for her,
358
00:19:26,959 --> 00:19:29,297
there was another
more famous painter...
359
00:19:29,433 --> 00:19:30,793
- Leonora Carrington. Yeah.
- Yes,
360
00:19:30,928 --> 00:19:32,533
the surrealist
Leonora Carrington,
361
00:19:32,668 --> 00:19:34,667
whose name was obviously
very similar to hers.
362
00:19:35,874 --> 00:19:36,966
Um...
363
00:19:37,676 --> 00:19:38,770
Dora...
364
00:19:39,737 --> 00:19:41,639
was better known for this
365
00:19:41,775 --> 00:19:44,039
bizarre love story
with Strachey.
366
00:19:46,352 --> 00:19:49,214
She devoted 17 years
of her life to him.
367
00:19:49,349 --> 00:19:50,549
- Wow.
- Mm.
368
00:19:50,685 --> 00:19:53,055
It'll be a fictionalized
biography, so...
369
00:19:53,191 --> 00:19:56,117
I'll make some stuff up, too.
370
00:19:56,252 --> 00:20:00,094
I've never been able
to allow myself that.
371
00:20:00,229 --> 00:20:03,064
Mm. Well, I hope not.
372
00:20:03,199 --> 00:20:04,933
You're a war reporter.
373
00:20:05,069 --> 00:20:07,062
Yeah, you have to...
374
00:20:07,197 --> 00:20:08,735
You know, you can't
show your emotions.
375
00:20:08,870 --> 00:20:12,706
You have to block them
out so you can do your job
376
00:20:12,841 --> 00:20:15,412
and stay in the present in
the middle of whatever hell.
377
00:20:15,548 --> 00:20:17,947
Maybe I should write about
you and not Carrington.
378
00:20:18,083 --> 00:20:19,448
I don't think you'd enjoy
379
00:20:19,583 --> 00:20:21,284
writing about illnesses
and treatments.
380
00:20:21,420 --> 00:20:24,219
- Mm. You're wrong.
- I'm just a journalist,
381
00:20:24,355 --> 00:20:27,055
addicted to wars and adrenaline.
382
00:20:27,191 --> 00:20:28,259
You think that's nothing?
383
00:20:30,622 --> 00:20:32,191
It wasn't all tragedy.
384
00:20:32,327 --> 00:20:33,693
You know, life went on.
385
00:20:35,766 --> 00:20:39,094
There was one report when
I added a bit of fiction.
386
00:20:39,705 --> 00:20:40,730
Really?
387
00:20:40,865 --> 00:20:42,999
Actually, I never published it.
388
00:20:45,001 --> 00:20:46,904
It was during the war in Iraq.
389
00:20:47,040 --> 00:20:50,378
On the last day,
before we left Baghdad.
390
00:20:50,514 --> 00:20:52,106
Are you sure this
is the right way?
391
00:20:52,242 --> 00:20:55,044
Yeah, just make a left
here in this alley.
392
00:20:56,384 --> 00:20:57,618
Let's make this brief.
393
00:21:01,156 --> 00:21:02,156
Here. Stop here.
394
00:21:12,504 --> 00:21:15,130
Martin, what are you
doing here in Baghdad?
395
00:21:17,374 --> 00:21:18,775
You look great. You really do.
396
00:21:18,910 --> 00:21:19,910
Thank you.
397
00:21:20,036 --> 00:21:21,835
Yeah, I'm sorry. Paco, Martin.
398
00:21:21,971 --> 00:21:23,347
He's a Carmelite, like me.
399
00:21:23,482 --> 00:21:25,275
Pleasure. Let me
introduce you to Martha.
400
00:21:25,410 --> 00:21:27,642
She is a brilliant journalist
from The New York Times.
401
00:21:29,054 --> 00:21:30,117
They are the Carmelites
402
00:21:30,253 --> 00:21:31,419
I was telling you about.
403
00:21:31,554 --> 00:21:32,883
It's a pleasure
to meet you both.
404
00:21:33,019 --> 00:21:34,825
Are you intending
to stay in Baghdad?
405
00:21:34,960 --> 00:21:36,189
Yes, here we are.
406
00:21:36,324 --> 00:21:37,857
But you're alone.
407
00:21:37,992 --> 00:21:40,298
All the NGOs and the Red
Cross have left already.
408
00:21:40,931 --> 00:21:42,165
I know.
409
00:21:42,301 --> 00:21:44,065
The situation is out of control.
410
00:21:44,201 --> 00:21:45,462
It's very dangerous.
411
00:21:45,598 --> 00:21:46,896
You're here as well.
412
00:21:47,032 --> 00:21:48,604
Yeah, but we're just
passing through.
413
00:21:48,740 --> 00:21:50,580
We're leaving as soon as
we finish talking to you.
414
00:21:50,604 --> 00:21:52,308
We can't let them down now,
415
00:21:52,444 --> 00:21:53,972
this is when the
people need us most.
416
00:21:54,107 --> 00:21:57,777
That's true, but it's
still extremely dangerous.
417
00:21:59,447 --> 00:22:01,108
But then you know that.
418
00:22:01,244 --> 00:22:03,354
We can't let them
down now, señora.
419
00:22:04,820 --> 00:22:06,322
Do you mind if we
take a photo of you
420
00:22:06,457 --> 00:22:08,221
and how the mission
has been left?
421
00:22:09,762 --> 00:22:11,053
Okay.
422
00:22:11,189 --> 00:22:13,322
You can photograph
the mission and me,
423
00:22:13,458 --> 00:22:16,760
but he doesn't want to risk
his family in Spain seeing him.
424
00:22:16,896 --> 00:22:18,469
- They'd worry.
- Yeah, of course.
425
00:22:18,604 --> 00:22:20,147
Totally understand, but if
we could get one of you,
426
00:22:20,171 --> 00:22:21,368
that would be great.
427
00:22:21,503 --> 00:22:22,866
- Okay.
- Sure.
428
00:22:24,310 --> 00:22:25,673
- Here?
- Yeah.
429
00:22:25,808 --> 00:22:28,435
Just perhaps a little
tiny step closer...
430
00:22:28,570 --> 00:22:30,490
Yeah, that's fine, so that
I can see the impacts.
431
00:22:36,187 --> 00:22:37,212
I think you have it.
432
00:22:39,817 --> 00:22:41,685
How long has it been...
433
00:22:41,821 --> 00:22:43,090
since we last saw each other?
434
00:22:43,225 --> 00:22:44,795
Five years.
435
00:22:44,930 --> 00:22:46,155
Five years.
436
00:22:47,294 --> 00:22:48,322
Wow.
437
00:22:49,695 --> 00:22:50,797
Do you remember Liberia?
438
00:22:51,697 --> 00:22:52,832
How could I forget?
439
00:22:54,970 --> 00:22:58,674
Look, I have some photos of
you that we didn't publish.
440
00:22:58,809 --> 00:23:00,769
If you give me an address,
I can send them to you.
441
00:23:00,838 --> 00:23:01,838
Maybe to the Embassy.
442
00:23:01,937 --> 00:23:03,642
No, you keep them.
443
00:23:03,777 --> 00:23:05,515
That way I'll keep you company.
444
00:23:06,643 --> 00:23:07,643
Okay.
445
00:23:10,047 --> 00:23:11,422
It was really great seeing you.
446
00:23:12,320 --> 00:23:13,320
Take care.
447
00:23:13,390 --> 00:23:14,623
- Goodbye.
- Be safe.
448
00:23:19,463 --> 00:23:20,761
How do you know the Carmelite?
449
00:23:24,026 --> 00:23:25,062
We met in Sierra Leone.
450
00:23:27,370 --> 00:23:29,204
We became lovers there.
451
00:23:29,340 --> 00:23:30,936
- Oh, really?
- Yeah.
452
00:23:32,245 --> 00:23:34,267
After that, we met more times.
453
00:23:34,403 --> 00:23:36,737
Always in places
that were at war.
454
00:23:36,872 --> 00:23:38,081
And you had sex?
455
00:23:38,216 --> 00:23:40,582
Well, of course, yeah.
456
00:23:40,718 --> 00:23:42,783
Bernardo never renounced
physical pleasure.
457
00:23:44,282 --> 00:23:47,051
He was always in the
most conflictive places.
458
00:23:47,186 --> 00:23:49,427
And I think that sex
was his best shield.
459
00:23:51,894 --> 00:23:54,227
I'm pretty sure the
Carmelite is his partner.
460
00:23:54,363 --> 00:23:55,426
You think so?
461
00:23:55,561 --> 00:23:57,666
Definitely.
462
00:23:57,801 --> 00:23:59,413
That is the only way
you can stay in Baghdad
463
00:23:59,437 --> 00:24:00,597
and not be afraid of the war.
464
00:24:01,835 --> 00:24:04,035
- What a wonderful story.
- Yup.
465
00:24:06,068 --> 00:24:07,068
Don't you dare write it.
466
00:24:07,169 --> 00:24:09,205
No, no, no, of course not.
467
00:24:12,075 --> 00:24:14,944
But how about sin for him?
468
00:24:15,079 --> 00:24:16,319
I mean, don't they feel guilty?
469
00:24:16,388 --> 00:24:18,116
After all, they are Catholic.
470
00:24:18,251 --> 00:24:20,216
Yeah, I don't know. He
never talked about that.
471
00:24:22,385 --> 00:24:24,954
With all the horrors
you see in war,
472
00:24:25,089 --> 00:24:26,693
feeling guilty about having sex
473
00:24:26,829 --> 00:24:28,109
doesn't really
carry much weight,
474
00:24:29,158 --> 00:24:30,198
you simply get used to it.
475
00:24:31,399 --> 00:24:32,470
I know that.
476
00:24:35,900 --> 00:24:37,507
I wrote their story,
477
00:24:37,642 --> 00:24:39,972
their love story,
as I imagined it,
478
00:24:41,237 --> 00:24:42,810
but it stayed in my computer.
479
00:24:45,016 --> 00:24:49,282
So, you're gonna write about
Dora Carrington's insane love.
480
00:24:49,417 --> 00:24:50,685
Mm-hm.
481
00:24:50,820 --> 00:24:52,260
And her connection
to Virginia Woolf,
482
00:24:52,284 --> 00:24:55,290
who Strachey also
pursued romantically.
483
00:24:55,425 --> 00:24:56,786
What a group!
484
00:24:56,922 --> 00:24:59,288
I so admire their freedom.
485
00:24:59,423 --> 00:25:01,022
Strachey died of stomach cancer
486
00:25:01,157 --> 00:25:03,325
18 years after meeting Dora
487
00:25:03,460 --> 00:25:06,194
and Dora survived him
by barely two months
488
00:25:06,330 --> 00:25:08,499
before she shot
herself in the stomach.
489
00:25:08,634 --> 00:25:11,169
She was only 38.
490
00:25:11,304 --> 00:25:14,308
I'm struck by the symmetry
of that kind of gesture,
491
00:25:14,443 --> 00:25:15,676
his stomach cancer
492
00:25:15,812 --> 00:25:17,741
and her shooting
herself in the stomach.
493
00:25:17,877 --> 00:25:20,180
I know, it struck me, too.
494
00:25:20,315 --> 00:25:24,550
I wonder what Virginia Woolf
thought of Carrington's death?
495
00:25:24,685 --> 00:25:27,156
Maybe Virginia saw...
496
00:25:27,291 --> 00:25:28,390
a kind of warning,
497
00:25:28,525 --> 00:25:31,051
a mirror that reflected her?
498
00:25:31,186 --> 00:25:32,387
As if they were fated?
499
00:25:34,993 --> 00:25:36,891
Do you think I'm fated, too?
500
00:25:37,026 --> 00:25:39,735
No! Of course not.
501
00:25:39,870 --> 00:25:42,331
I've never known anyone
more alive than you.
502
00:25:42,466 --> 00:25:45,002
This week I'm starting
a new experimental
503
00:25:45,138 --> 00:25:47,275
- immunotherapy treatment.
- Uh-huh.
504
00:25:47,411 --> 00:25:49,109
They've already tried it
505
00:25:49,245 --> 00:25:51,317
and it seems to work well
with cases of cervical cancer.
506
00:25:51,341 --> 00:25:54,013
- Well, that's great news!
- Yeah.
507
00:25:54,148 --> 00:25:55,493
Let me know when I can
come and visit you,
508
00:25:55,517 --> 00:25:56,686
- okay?
- I will.
509
00:25:59,019 --> 00:26:01,388
- Talking of symmetry...
- Mm-hmm?
510
00:26:01,523 --> 00:26:02,560
Do you remember...
511
00:26:03,591 --> 00:26:04,793
Damian Cunningham?
512
00:26:05,858 --> 00:26:07,662
How could I forget?
513
00:26:07,797 --> 00:26:10,265
I inherited him from you.
514
00:26:10,400 --> 00:26:12,061
The shared lover.
515
00:26:12,196 --> 00:26:13,602
- Well, I...
- I have to say
516
00:26:13,738 --> 00:26:15,402
I felt terrible when
you got together
517
00:26:15,538 --> 00:26:16,770
after I'd been with him.
518
00:26:16,905 --> 00:26:18,375
Okay, we didn't
share him exactly
519
00:26:18,510 --> 00:26:19,750
because you'd already broken up
520
00:26:19,843 --> 00:26:20,917
and you were out of the country.
521
00:26:20,941 --> 00:26:22,371
I would never go back with him
522
00:26:22,506 --> 00:26:25,274
and, to tell the truth,
I was never faithful.
523
00:26:25,410 --> 00:26:30,145
But he was a passionate
and enthusiastic lover
524
00:26:30,280 --> 00:26:32,287
and I hope he was for you, too.
525
00:26:32,423 --> 00:26:33,452
I had no complaints.
526
00:26:49,239 --> 00:26:50,239
Hi.
527
00:26:52,903 --> 00:26:53,908
What is it?
528
00:26:55,940 --> 00:26:56,944
It hasn't worked.
529
00:26:58,209 --> 00:27:00,209
I've got metastases in my liver
530
00:27:00,344 --> 00:27:02,147
- and in my bones.
- Oh, Martha.
531
00:27:02,282 --> 00:27:04,150
I should have followed
my first instinct.
532
00:27:04,286 --> 00:27:06,820
Should never have put
myself through this torture.
533
00:27:06,956 --> 00:27:09,390
This diarrhea,
vomiting, fatigue...
534
00:27:09,526 --> 00:27:11,618
to end up like this.
535
00:27:11,753 --> 00:27:13,822
I should never have
given in to false hope.
536
00:27:13,957 --> 00:27:15,258
Okay. Okay.
537
00:27:15,393 --> 00:27:17,164
All right, what
does the doctor say?
538
00:27:17,300 --> 00:27:18,468
Tell me.
539
00:27:18,603 --> 00:27:20,994
Oh, that I could
live for months,
540
00:27:21,130 --> 00:27:23,003
maybe a year.
541
00:27:23,138 --> 00:27:25,232
He wants me to continue
with the treatment,
542
00:27:25,368 --> 00:27:26,805
even though it looks hopeless.
543
00:27:26,941 --> 00:27:28,303
Maybe it will work this time.
544
00:27:28,439 --> 00:27:30,439
I don't wanna
wallow in self-pity.
545
00:27:36,522 --> 00:27:39,216
But I'm not a stoic. I'm sorry.
546
00:27:39,352 --> 00:27:43,453
I don't wanna go through
excruciating pain.
547
00:27:43,588 --> 00:27:45,993
You can't be self-possessed
if you're in agony.
548
00:27:46,960 --> 00:27:48,961
You can't think straight.
549
00:27:49,096 --> 00:27:50,728
You can only think
of one thing...
550
00:27:50,864 --> 00:27:52,230
the fucking cancer.
551
00:27:55,136 --> 00:27:56,707
I've always taken
care of my health,
552
00:27:57,737 --> 00:27:59,609
now I regret it.
553
00:27:59,745 --> 00:28:01,343
The doctor says I
have a strong heart.
554
00:28:01,479 --> 00:28:02,810
What does that mean?
555
00:28:02,946 --> 00:28:04,980
My body is just gonna
go on fighting...
556
00:28:05,115 --> 00:28:08,018
while I suffer and suffer
until my last breath?
557
00:28:09,288 --> 00:28:10,347
I don't know.
558
00:28:12,316 --> 00:28:13,856
I don't know how to help you.
559
00:28:15,294 --> 00:28:16,353
I'm so sorry.
560
00:28:21,127 --> 00:28:23,558
I think I deserve a good death.
561
00:28:26,202 --> 00:28:29,738
At least one without
convulsions in my last moments.
562
00:28:29,874 --> 00:28:31,735
Going out with a
little bit of dignity,
563
00:28:31,871 --> 00:28:33,469
clean and dry.
564
00:28:36,210 --> 00:28:38,181
But I know I'm
asking too much...
565
00:28:39,742 --> 00:28:40,581
What are you doing up, Martha?
566
00:28:40,716 --> 00:28:42,312
I'm fucking over this.
567
00:28:42,448 --> 00:28:44,244
- Can you help her, please?
- Of course.
568
00:28:44,380 --> 00:28:45,655
Let's get you back in bed.
569
00:28:45,791 --> 00:28:47,725
Come on. Let me help you.
570
00:28:49,118 --> 00:28:50,589
Bring it on.
571
00:28:50,724 --> 00:28:51,762
Here we go.
572
00:28:54,690 --> 00:28:56,626
I'll end up turning
into a junkie.
573
00:28:58,064 --> 00:28:59,995
I am one already, I guess.
574
00:29:00,130 --> 00:29:02,835
It's okay. Really.
575
00:29:02,971 --> 00:29:04,940
Here, this will help.
576
00:29:43,273 --> 00:29:44,309
Are you still here?
577
00:29:45,844 --> 00:29:46,844
Yes.
578
00:29:50,285 --> 00:29:52,185
Should I ask them to
bring your dinner?
579
00:29:53,622 --> 00:29:54,622
Are you hungry?
580
00:29:55,392 --> 00:29:56,392
No.
581
00:29:59,463 --> 00:30:00,463
Ingrid...
582
00:30:02,901 --> 00:30:04,962
Do you think I
need to say goodbye
583
00:30:05,097 --> 00:30:06,969
to my closest friends?
584
00:30:07,105 --> 00:30:09,334
I think you should do
whatever you wanna do.
585
00:30:10,466 --> 00:30:12,975
I just want peace and quiet.
586
00:30:14,806 --> 00:30:18,079
Have you thought about how
you wanna spend your time?
587
00:30:20,110 --> 00:30:21,818
And where?
588
00:30:21,954 --> 00:30:23,612
Is there some place
you'd like to go?
589
00:30:24,817 --> 00:30:25,823
Look.
590
00:30:31,396 --> 00:30:32,962
Pink snowflakes.
591
00:30:35,431 --> 00:30:38,528
There had to be something
good about climate change.
592
00:30:40,767 --> 00:30:41,795
Well...
593
00:30:43,432 --> 00:30:45,040
I've lived to see that.
594
00:30:50,115 --> 00:30:53,012
You remember the end
of Joyce's The Dead?
595
00:30:53,147 --> 00:30:54,852
Vaguely.
596
00:30:56,313 --> 00:30:58,053
"The snow was falling,
597
00:30:59,782 --> 00:31:03,320
falling on the
lonely churchyard,
598
00:31:03,456 --> 00:31:06,391
falling faintly
through the universe.
599
00:31:08,666 --> 00:31:11,229
And faintly falling,
600
00:31:11,364 --> 00:31:14,498
like the descent
of their last end,
601
00:31:16,633 --> 00:31:21,373
on all the living
and the dead."
602
00:31:25,882 --> 00:31:27,412
It's getting late and, uh...
603
00:31:28,718 --> 00:31:29,718
I should be going.
604
00:31:37,792 --> 00:31:38,792
Thank you.
605
00:31:40,357 --> 00:31:41,899
I'll see you tomorrow.
606
00:32:28,972 --> 00:32:31,642
There's still a half an hour
before the movie starts.
607
00:32:31,777 --> 00:32:33,917
Should we go in and get
our seats before the rush?
608
00:32:34,052 --> 00:32:36,085
No. I wanna talk to
you about something.
609
00:32:36,850 --> 00:32:38,219
Okay.
610
00:32:38,354 --> 00:32:40,781
I will not go out in
mortifying anguish.
611
00:32:40,917 --> 00:32:42,652
I've gotten hold of
a euthanasia pill.
612
00:32:43,551 --> 00:32:44,951
Don't ask me how,
613
00:32:45,086 --> 00:32:47,490
on the dark web you can
find almost anything.
614
00:32:47,626 --> 00:32:49,664
I also have an
abundance of opioids
615
00:32:49,800 --> 00:32:51,031
for the moments of pain.
616
00:32:51,166 --> 00:32:52,629
And don't look at me like that,
617
00:32:52,765 --> 00:32:54,730
I'm not asking you to
convince me otherwise.
618
00:32:55,697 --> 00:32:57,673
I don't know what to say.
619
00:32:57,809 --> 00:32:59,141
I'm hoping you'll say yes.
620
00:33:00,171 --> 00:33:01,678
Yes to what?
621
00:33:01,813 --> 00:33:03,508
To my asking you to help me.
622
00:33:04,242 --> 00:33:05,609
Help you what?
623
00:33:06,918 --> 00:33:09,479
I've faced death several times,
624
00:33:09,614 --> 00:33:11,747
but I've always
been accompanied.
625
00:33:11,882 --> 00:33:15,190
We reporters formed a
kind of mobile family.
626
00:33:17,124 --> 00:33:18,688
This is another war,
627
00:33:19,764 --> 00:33:21,031
I'm not afraid of it.
628
00:33:21,598 --> 00:33:22,789
But...
629
00:33:22,925 --> 00:33:24,958
like the other times
I faced death...
630
00:33:26,905 --> 00:33:28,863
I don't wanna be alone, Ingrid.
631
00:33:31,368 --> 00:33:32,735
I'm asking you...
632
00:33:33,679 --> 00:33:35,705
to be in the next room.
633
00:33:37,148 --> 00:33:38,774
I think we should
go get our seats.
634
00:33:38,909 --> 00:33:41,617
Yeah, sure, but I prefer
to go on talking to you,
635
00:33:41,752 --> 00:33:42,877
if you don't mind.
636
00:33:45,480 --> 00:33:46,914
Okay. Um...
637
00:33:48,994 --> 00:33:50,489
Do you know when
you wanna do this?
638
00:33:51,453 --> 00:33:52,453
Not exactly.
639
00:33:53,488 --> 00:33:54,493
Within a month?
640
00:33:56,600 --> 00:34:00,565
Before I start to deteriorate
and you don't recognize me.
641
00:34:00,700 --> 00:34:04,530
These next weeks I should
be reasonably well,
642
00:34:04,666 --> 00:34:06,339
but I wanna do it soon.
643
00:34:06,475 --> 00:34:08,568
My doctors think
that I'm gonna return
644
00:34:08,704 --> 00:34:10,673
to complete the treatment.
645
00:34:10,809 --> 00:34:13,149
It's best they don't
suspect anything.
646
00:34:14,116 --> 00:34:15,883
Where do you wanna do it?
647
00:34:16,019 --> 00:34:17,285
I don't wanna be at home.
648
00:34:19,755 --> 00:34:22,719
And I don't wanna go back
to anywhere I've been happy.
649
00:34:25,263 --> 00:34:27,421
It's always a mistake
to return to some place
650
00:34:27,557 --> 00:34:29,089
you've been truly happy.
651
00:34:29,224 --> 00:34:31,525
You just ruin the good
memories of the first time.
652
00:34:31,660 --> 00:34:33,269
No, I understand that.
653
00:34:33,404 --> 00:34:36,568
I think it will be easier
for me to let myself go
654
00:34:36,703 --> 00:34:40,774
if I'm not surrounded
by familiar things,
655
00:34:40,909 --> 00:34:42,737
intimate things.
656
00:34:42,873 --> 00:34:44,906
I think that would hold me back.
657
00:34:47,479 --> 00:34:50,450
I prefer some unknown place,
658
00:34:51,515 --> 00:34:53,387
comfortable and safe,
659
00:34:54,353 --> 00:34:56,718
and not too far away.
660
00:34:56,854 --> 00:34:58,959
Do you need my help
finding a place
661
00:34:59,095 --> 00:35:01,256
or getting you settled in?
662
00:35:01,391 --> 00:35:03,461
No, no, no.
663
00:35:03,596 --> 00:35:05,102
No, I can take
care of that part.
664
00:35:06,865 --> 00:35:09,733
What I need is somebody
to be there with me,
665
00:35:10,941 --> 00:35:12,406
in the room next door.
666
00:35:14,940 --> 00:35:16,811
Wouldn't you prefer
someone you're closer to?
667
00:35:16,946 --> 00:35:18,279
We're very close.
668
00:35:18,415 --> 00:35:20,349
No, yes, of course,
of course we are.
669
00:35:20,484 --> 00:35:22,779
Oh, my God, we're
very close. I just...
670
00:35:22,915 --> 00:35:24,917
There were years where
we didn't see each other.
671
00:35:26,120 --> 00:35:27,580
What about Stella?
672
00:35:27,716 --> 00:35:28,954
Or Maggie?
673
00:35:29,089 --> 00:35:30,490
Or Vanessa?
674
00:35:30,625 --> 00:35:32,304
You've all been friends
since you were kids.
675
00:35:32,328 --> 00:35:34,659
I admit I thought of them first.
676
00:35:35,725 --> 00:35:37,398
I asked all three of them.
677
00:35:37,533 --> 00:35:40,797
They all were horrified
and they all said no.
678
00:35:42,137 --> 00:35:43,503
They understood it,
679
00:35:43,638 --> 00:35:45,469
but they said they
could never be a part
680
00:35:45,604 --> 00:35:47,434
of helping me take my own life.
681
00:35:47,569 --> 00:35:49,236
Absolutely not.
682
00:35:49,372 --> 00:35:51,612
- What about your daughter?
- It wouldn't be fair to her.
683
00:35:52,808 --> 00:35:54,809
I've been an absent mother.
684
00:35:54,945 --> 00:35:56,684
I don't wanna impose
my dying on her.
685
00:35:56,819 --> 00:36:00,989
You could at least consult her
and let her be a part of it.
686
00:36:01,124 --> 00:36:02,819
We're two strangers, Ingrid.
687
00:36:04,526 --> 00:36:06,260
She made that clear
when I told her
688
00:36:06,396 --> 00:36:08,121
about my doubts
about the treatment.
689
00:36:09,429 --> 00:36:11,168
"It's your choice" she said.
690
00:36:12,836 --> 00:36:13,962
And she's right.
691
00:36:14,606 --> 00:36:15,606
Right.
692
00:36:42,294 --> 00:36:44,397
No matter what,
693
00:36:44,532 --> 00:36:46,698
people want you
to keep fighting.
694
00:36:48,429 --> 00:36:52,165
This is the way we've
been taught to see cancer.
695
00:36:52,300 --> 00:36:57,377
As a fight... between
patient and disease,
696
00:36:57,513 --> 00:37:00,708
which is to say
between good and evil.
697
00:37:00,844 --> 00:37:02,945
If you survive, you're a hero.
698
00:37:04,086 --> 00:37:05,915
If you lose, well,
699
00:37:07,556 --> 00:37:09,358
perhaps you didn't
fight hard enough.
700
00:37:11,956 --> 00:37:13,720
People don't like
using words like
701
00:37:13,856 --> 00:37:16,999
"terminal" or "incurable."
702
00:37:17,135 --> 00:37:19,663
They call that defeatist talk.
703
00:37:19,798 --> 00:37:21,432
Some of the worst
stuff comes from
704
00:37:21,568 --> 00:37:24,065
the cancer support community.
705
00:37:24,201 --> 00:37:27,066
Some of them think of
your cancer as a gift,
706
00:37:27,202 --> 00:37:29,877
an opportunity for
spiritual growth.
707
00:37:30,012 --> 00:37:31,744
Bullshit!
708
00:37:31,879 --> 00:37:34,944
People should see this
is my way of fighting.
709
00:37:37,114 --> 00:37:40,257
Cancer can't get me
if I get me first.
710
00:37:43,020 --> 00:37:45,526
And what's the
point in waiting...
711
00:37:46,756 --> 00:37:48,089
when I'm so ready to go?
712
00:37:49,862 --> 00:37:52,062
Are you completely
sure you're ready?
713
00:37:52,198 --> 00:37:53,969
Totally.
714
00:37:54,105 --> 00:37:56,064
Since the first diagnosis.
715
00:37:58,201 --> 00:38:00,576
You know I have a
terrible fear of death.
716
00:38:00,712 --> 00:38:01,734
I know.
717
00:38:01,870 --> 00:38:03,146
I've read your book.
718
00:38:03,281 --> 00:38:05,315
That's why I didn't
ask you first.
719
00:38:07,451 --> 00:38:08,983
But you understand
me, don't you?
720
00:38:09,119 --> 00:38:10,779
I do, I do. I envy you.
721
00:38:10,914 --> 00:38:12,587
You're in control of your life.
722
00:38:12,722 --> 00:38:15,958
I only need you to accompany
me the days leading to it,
723
00:38:16,094 --> 00:38:18,657
as if we were on vacation.
724
00:38:18,792 --> 00:38:21,297
I just wanna know
that, when it happens,
725
00:38:21,433 --> 00:38:23,459
there'll be someone
in the next room.
726
00:38:23,595 --> 00:38:25,064
It terrifies me, Martha.
727
00:38:25,200 --> 00:38:26,633
I understand.
728
00:38:26,769 --> 00:38:28,147
I think that you have
every right to do this
729
00:38:28,171 --> 00:38:29,869
and I admire you for it,
730
00:38:30,005 --> 00:38:31,777
but I don't know that I can
be the one to find you dead.
731
00:38:31,801 --> 00:38:33,200
I'm not that strong.
732
00:38:33,335 --> 00:38:35,055
You're much stronger
than you think you are.
733
00:38:37,477 --> 00:38:39,943
Anyway, I had to try.
734
00:38:43,980 --> 00:38:45,585
I can't answer you now, Martha,
735
00:38:45,721 --> 00:38:47,201
but I promise you
I'll think about it.
736
00:38:47,284 --> 00:38:49,825
Right now I'm too confused
and too terrified.
737
00:38:49,961 --> 00:38:51,456
I understand.
738
00:38:51,591 --> 00:38:53,330
I understand it's sudden...
739
00:38:55,429 --> 00:38:57,092
and it's disconcerting.
740
00:39:01,666 --> 00:39:02,999
I'll think of someone.
741
00:39:13,483 --> 00:39:15,847
- I wasn't too much?
- No, no.
742
00:39:55,855 --> 00:39:57,917
- Martha?
- Hello, Ingrid.
743
00:39:58,052 --> 00:39:59,396
I've made up my mind.
744
00:40:02,824 --> 00:40:03,824
Come on in.
745
00:40:05,096 --> 00:40:07,262
The owner is a jewelry designer.
746
00:40:07,397 --> 00:40:10,136
She's a friend of mine,
so I don't pay much rent.
747
00:40:10,272 --> 00:40:11,804
Mmm.
748
00:40:11,939 --> 00:40:13,802
You get the impression
it's been furnished
749
00:40:13,937 --> 00:40:15,845
with stuff from the garbage.
750
00:40:15,980 --> 00:40:18,243
Not everything.
751
00:40:18,378 --> 00:40:21,448
And it takes talent to pick
stuff out of the garbage.
752
00:40:21,583 --> 00:40:23,912
You haven't finished moving in.
753
00:40:24,047 --> 00:40:26,181
- Do you want a hand?
- Uh...
754
00:40:26,914 --> 00:40:28,117
No.
755
00:40:30,688 --> 00:40:33,055
I'll do it after.
756
00:40:33,191 --> 00:40:36,597
And even so, you're
going with Martha.
757
00:40:36,732 --> 00:40:40,460
She is totally alone, Damian.
758
00:40:40,595 --> 00:40:42,834
None of her friends are
helping her with this.
759
00:40:42,970 --> 00:40:46,069
She even told me I
wasn't her first choice.
760
00:40:46,204 --> 00:40:48,309
It's like her daughter
doesn't even exist.
761
00:40:48,444 --> 00:40:49,775
In the years I was with her,
762
00:40:49,911 --> 00:40:51,442
she never told me
she had a daughter.
763
00:40:51,577 --> 00:40:53,246
I know, it's a...
764
00:40:53,381 --> 00:40:54,714
It's a sad story.
765
00:40:54,850 --> 00:40:58,048
It's a terrible, terrible
misunderstanding.
766
00:41:01,351 --> 00:41:03,189
Have you told her
that we're in touch?
767
00:41:03,324 --> 00:41:05,925
Uh... No.
768
00:41:06,060 --> 00:41:08,531
Um, we talked about you
in a... in a general way.
769
00:41:08,666 --> 00:41:11,631
- She has nice memories of you.
- Oh. Really?
770
00:41:11,767 --> 00:41:14,131
Our relationship
was mostly physical.
771
00:41:14,266 --> 00:41:16,936
She was always about to
go off somewhere else,
772
00:41:17,071 --> 00:41:21,401
that's why our lovemaking
had that sense of urgency.
773
00:41:21,536 --> 00:41:23,775
It was like having sex
with a terrorist...
774
00:41:23,910 --> 00:41:25,406
it always felt
like the last time.
775
00:41:25,541 --> 00:41:27,779
Well, she rates you
pretty highly as a lover.
776
00:41:27,915 --> 00:41:29,515
I'd like to know what
rating you give me.
777
00:41:29,612 --> 00:41:31,785
Oh, I can't believe you're
still flirting with me.
778
00:41:31,920 --> 00:41:34,457
- I'm serious.
- No, no, you're not serious.
779
00:41:34,592 --> 00:41:37,118
What's serious is
Martha's situation.
780
00:41:37,253 --> 00:41:39,627
And your being
terrified of death?
781
00:41:39,762 --> 00:41:41,663
You just published
a book about that.
782
00:41:41,798 --> 00:41:43,794
Have you overcome that,
thanks to the book?
783
00:41:43,929 --> 00:41:45,865
No.
784
00:41:54,771 --> 00:41:56,645
Hi. How are you?
785
00:41:57,278 --> 00:41:58,446
Better.
786
00:41:58,581 --> 00:42:01,207
Much better since you said yes.
787
00:42:01,342 --> 00:42:02,985
Where are you? Are you at home?
788
00:42:03,120 --> 00:42:04,218
Yeah.
789
00:42:04,354 --> 00:42:05,986
I'm watering the plants.
790
00:42:06,121 --> 00:42:08,551
Oh, I thought you had
someone who did that for you.
791
00:42:08,686 --> 00:42:10,320
I do.
792
00:42:10,455 --> 00:42:12,920
But today I felt like doing
it and I am enjoying it.
793
00:42:13,056 --> 00:42:15,225
Okay. Good.
794
00:42:15,360 --> 00:42:19,431
Um, have you... Have you
decided where we're going?
795
00:42:19,567 --> 00:42:21,798
That's why I called.
796
00:42:21,934 --> 00:42:23,363
It's, uh, near Woodstock,
797
00:42:23,499 --> 00:42:25,404
it's about two
hours from the city.
798
00:42:25,540 --> 00:42:27,004
It looks fantastic.
799
00:42:27,139 --> 00:42:29,808
Uh, it's a bit
expensive, but, hey,
800
00:42:29,944 --> 00:42:32,307
the occasion calls for it.
801
00:42:33,615 --> 00:42:35,779
So, do you know how long...
802
00:42:35,914 --> 00:42:37,444
I've rented it for a month.
803
00:42:37,579 --> 00:42:40,053
That should give me
more than enough time.
804
00:42:40,189 --> 00:42:41,189
A month?
805
00:42:41,316 --> 00:42:43,555
Yeah. My blood count's low
806
00:42:43,691 --> 00:42:45,219
and I have to take a break
807
00:42:45,355 --> 00:42:46,792
before I start
the new treatment,
808
00:42:46,927 --> 00:42:48,201
and you're the
only one who knows
809
00:42:48,225 --> 00:42:50,523
I'm not going back
to the hospital.
810
00:42:50,658 --> 00:42:52,864
It's not like I've
picked a date.
811
00:42:53,000 --> 00:42:55,902
I mean, you'll never
know it anyway.
812
00:42:57,000 --> 00:42:59,268
But... I'm ready to go.
813
00:43:01,006 --> 00:43:03,576
I would even say I'm impatient.
814
00:43:03,712 --> 00:43:05,405
I'm gonna be giving a lecture
815
00:43:05,540 --> 00:43:07,480
near Woodstock at
Bard in two weeks,
816
00:43:07,616 --> 00:43:08,947
so we can see each other.
817
00:43:09,083 --> 00:43:10,816
Mmm, I don't think
that's a good idea,
818
00:43:10,952 --> 00:43:12,814
I'll be with Martha
all the time.
819
00:43:12,950 --> 00:43:15,082
I'll call you if I can.
820
00:43:15,218 --> 00:43:16,787
You're going to need a lawyer.
821
00:43:16,922 --> 00:43:18,894
Yes, I should look for one.
822
00:43:19,030 --> 00:43:22,055
Let me help you with that,
but I'll have to fill them in.
823
00:43:22,191 --> 00:43:24,597
No, no, in that case, no.
824
00:43:24,732 --> 00:43:26,029
This is an absolute secret.
825
00:43:26,165 --> 00:43:27,803
Martha doesn't even
know I've told you.
826
00:43:27,938 --> 00:43:30,805
Okay. But if you need anything,
you should let me know.
827
00:43:32,672 --> 00:43:33,973
I worry about you.
828
00:43:34,937 --> 00:43:35,937
Thank you.
829
00:44:34,130 --> 00:44:35,969
According to this map,
830
00:44:36,104 --> 00:44:38,370
we go up these stairs
to enter the house.
831
00:44:38,505 --> 00:44:39,599
Okay.
832
00:45:09,131 --> 00:45:10,234
Look at this.
833
00:45:25,482 --> 00:45:27,715
Wow, it's so beautiful.
834
00:45:27,850 --> 00:45:31,090
It's so much more beautiful
than in the photographs.
835
00:45:34,861 --> 00:45:36,655
Is that a real Hopper?
836
00:45:36,791 --> 00:45:38,559
I don't think they
would have left it here.
837
00:45:39,470 --> 00:45:41,236
It's a very good copy.
838
00:45:41,372 --> 00:45:42,864
It looks real.
839
00:46:05,762 --> 00:46:07,528
- Do you hear them?
- Mm-hmm.
840
00:46:07,663 --> 00:46:08,864
Isn't that wonderful?
841
00:46:13,565 --> 00:46:16,630
And we can lie in the
sun, like in the Hopper,
842
00:46:18,137 --> 00:46:20,469
and catch the evening breeze.
843
00:46:26,109 --> 00:46:27,245
Are you okay?
844
00:46:29,716 --> 00:46:30,716
Very happy.
845
00:46:48,596 --> 00:46:50,463
Do you mind if I take this one?
846
00:46:50,598 --> 00:46:52,369
Of course not. It's your house.
847
00:46:56,111 --> 00:46:58,106
Mmm. This one is
a little small,
848
00:46:58,242 --> 00:46:59,447
I'm gonna look downstairs.
849
00:46:59,583 --> 00:47:00,583
All right.
850
00:47:18,362 --> 00:47:20,463
I'm gonna take this one, okay?
851
00:47:21,295 --> 00:47:24,039
Very good!
852
00:47:24,175 --> 00:47:27,475
You don't mind that I'm
not in the room next door?
853
00:47:27,611 --> 00:47:29,571
I can hear you breathe!
854
00:47:30,513 --> 00:47:32,479
And yell!
855
00:47:32,614 --> 00:47:34,675
Okay!
856
00:47:43,020 --> 00:47:44,960
Here we go.
857
00:47:48,896 --> 00:47:50,695
Let's get you unpacked.
858
00:47:50,830 --> 00:47:51,830
Thank you.
859
00:47:52,702 --> 00:47:54,495
I'll unpack it later.
860
00:47:54,631 --> 00:47:56,767
You're not my caretaker, Ingrid.
861
00:47:56,902 --> 00:47:58,072
You're my guest.
862
00:47:58,837 --> 00:47:59,939
Okay.
863
00:48:00,074 --> 00:48:02,769
Um... I'll go unpack my things.
864
00:48:20,027 --> 00:48:21,590
Martha?
865
00:48:26,834 --> 00:48:28,968
What is it, honey?
866
00:48:29,104 --> 00:48:30,471
- You won't believe it.
- What?
867
00:48:30,606 --> 00:48:31,640
I forgot it!
868
00:48:31,775 --> 00:48:33,202
You forgot what?
869
00:48:33,338 --> 00:48:34,835
The pill, the euthanasia pill!
870
00:48:34,970 --> 00:48:37,102
I brought all the others!
We have to go back.
871
00:48:37,238 --> 00:48:39,323
Oh, it's okay, we'll go back
first thing in the morning.
872
00:48:39,347 --> 00:48:40,659
- No, not tomorrow!
- Don't worry about it.
873
00:48:40,683 --> 00:48:42,012
We have to go now!
874
00:48:42,147 --> 00:48:43,412
I just need to be sure
875
00:48:43,548 --> 00:48:45,886
that I didn't lose
it or misplace it,
876
00:48:46,021 --> 00:48:47,957
that I didn't just dream it up.
877
00:48:48,821 --> 00:48:49,821
Okay.
878
00:48:55,596 --> 00:48:58,396
Buying another pill would
be extremely complicated.
879
00:49:01,039 --> 00:49:04,332
I have a friend who
knows a mathematician
880
00:49:04,468 --> 00:49:06,404
who found it on the dark web.
881
00:49:07,744 --> 00:49:09,778
It's all very sordid,
882
00:49:09,913 --> 00:49:12,146
not to mention totally illegal.
883
00:49:15,377 --> 00:49:17,213
It's scary...
884
00:49:17,348 --> 00:49:19,283
knowing that all that exists
885
00:49:19,419 --> 00:49:21,617
just behind our
computer screens.
886
00:49:24,090 --> 00:49:25,522
I feel like a criminal.
887
00:49:30,562 --> 00:49:32,965
I never thought I'd
be back here again.
888
00:49:33,100 --> 00:49:35,197
With that wonderful skyline.
889
00:49:35,333 --> 00:49:37,563
Life always surprises you.
890
00:49:37,699 --> 00:49:39,633
All right, let's get to work.
891
00:49:39,768 --> 00:49:41,168
- Okay.
- I'll start in the kitchen.
892
00:49:41,240 --> 00:49:42,771
Don't worry, we'll find it.
893
00:49:42,906 --> 00:49:44,218
Just, um... Just try to
think of all the places
894
00:49:44,242 --> 00:49:45,641
you usually hide things.
895
00:49:45,776 --> 00:49:47,427
This is the first thing
I have ever hidden.
896
00:49:47,451 --> 00:49:49,175
Really?
897
00:49:49,310 --> 00:49:51,550
The only thing I can remember
is I put it in an envelope.
898
00:49:51,654 --> 00:49:53,119
Okay. Uh...
899
00:49:53,254 --> 00:49:54,857
Why don't I start
in your office?
900
00:49:54,993 --> 00:49:56,619
- Is that okay? Okay.
- Yeah, yeah.
901
00:49:56,754 --> 00:49:58,885
Where did I put it?
Where did I put it?
902
00:50:17,776 --> 00:50:20,148
Oh, my God. We're
never gonna find it.
903
00:51:34,682 --> 00:51:35,784
I found an envelope.
904
00:51:36,693 --> 00:51:37,693
That's it!
905
00:51:38,521 --> 00:51:39,521
Where did you find it?
906
00:51:39,620 --> 00:51:41,053
In your desk.
907
00:51:41,188 --> 00:51:43,964
There was key in a
drawer and I opened it.
908
00:51:44,099 --> 00:51:46,031
How could I have forgotten?
909
00:51:46,167 --> 00:51:47,897
I even left the key in it?
910
00:51:48,033 --> 00:51:49,914
Well, you meant to take it, at
the last minute, you forgot.
911
00:51:49,938 --> 00:51:51,140
It's not so weird.
912
00:51:53,435 --> 00:51:54,638
Thank you.
913
00:51:55,704 --> 00:51:57,674
Such a strange sensation.
914
00:51:59,073 --> 00:52:00,913
It's like being
here after I'm dead.
915
00:52:01,049 --> 00:52:03,242
Oh, God, don't say that.
916
00:52:03,378 --> 00:52:05,847
It's too soon for you to
refer to yourself as a ghost.
917
00:52:07,455 --> 00:52:09,591
Let me straighten
up before we leave.
918
00:52:09,726 --> 00:52:10,819
Thank you.
919
00:53:05,610 --> 00:53:07,815
Forgive me for all this hassle.
920
00:53:07,950 --> 00:53:09,146
I'm sorry, really.
921
00:53:09,281 --> 00:53:11,812
It's okay.
922
00:53:11,948 --> 00:53:14,322
What a great place to return to.
923
00:53:15,958 --> 00:53:17,858
Stupid fridge.
924
00:53:17,994 --> 00:53:19,294
You need some help?
925
00:53:22,128 --> 00:53:23,128
I got it.
926
00:53:30,203 --> 00:53:32,065
You know, maybe...
927
00:53:32,200 --> 00:53:34,771
leaving the pill behind
was a kind of a sign?
928
00:53:36,479 --> 00:53:38,379
Maybe you're not as
ready as you think.
929
00:53:40,911 --> 00:53:43,175
I told you never
to say that to me.
930
00:53:45,047 --> 00:53:46,651
I don't remember
you telling me that.
931
00:53:49,657 --> 00:53:51,590
I think I've said so
many things to you.
932
00:53:53,154 --> 00:53:56,762
That's the problem
with chemo brain.
933
00:53:56,898 --> 00:54:00,434
My memory keeps failing me and
I get distracted so easily.
934
00:54:02,671 --> 00:54:06,106
It can continue even
after the treatment stops
935
00:54:06,241 --> 00:54:07,903
and it can go on for years.
936
00:54:09,036 --> 00:54:10,807
I'll be spared that, at least.
937
00:54:13,674 --> 00:54:14,910
When I write...
938
00:54:16,116 --> 00:54:17,116
When I wrote...
939
00:54:19,081 --> 00:54:21,951
I had to proofread
a thousand times.
940
00:54:22,086 --> 00:54:24,383
I can't trust my judgement
about anything anymore.
941
00:54:24,519 --> 00:54:26,227
Well...
942
00:54:26,363 --> 00:54:29,693
Then why do you
trust this decision?
943
00:54:29,829 --> 00:54:32,026
How do you know it's
not chemo brain, too?
944
00:54:33,865 --> 00:54:35,761
I've left the pill
in the top drawer
945
00:54:35,896 --> 00:54:37,933
of the bedside table.
946
00:54:38,068 --> 00:54:41,007
If I forget, which I
don't think I will,
947
00:54:41,143 --> 00:54:43,235
you will remind me.
948
00:54:43,370 --> 00:54:46,579
And I prefer not to
talk about this anymore.
949
00:54:46,714 --> 00:54:49,483
Well, it's my business,
too, don't you think?
950
00:54:53,087 --> 00:54:54,488
Sure. Of course.
951
00:54:56,955 --> 00:54:59,252
I'll leave a signed
letter for the police
952
00:54:59,388 --> 00:55:02,589
telling them everything,
including the name of the pill
953
00:55:02,725 --> 00:55:04,199
and where I got it.
954
00:55:04,334 --> 00:55:08,426
Your name will not
appear anywhere.
955
00:55:08,562 --> 00:55:12,270
All you have to do is to
say that you know nothing.
956
00:55:12,405 --> 00:55:15,036
Don't budge from that.
957
00:55:15,172 --> 00:55:17,144
I don't wanna give you
any more information.
958
00:55:17,280 --> 00:55:18,776
The less you know, the better.
959
00:55:20,776 --> 00:55:22,582
And this is important.
960
00:55:28,225 --> 00:55:30,457
I'll sleep with my door open,
961
00:55:30,593 --> 00:55:33,492
and the day that you
find it closed...
962
00:55:33,628 --> 00:55:36,064
is the day it's
already happened.
963
00:55:36,200 --> 00:55:38,290
That's the sign, door closed.
964
00:55:44,272 --> 00:55:45,968
I know it's difficult.
965
00:55:48,808 --> 00:55:50,643
But just think
we're on vacation.
966
00:55:52,350 --> 00:55:56,208
You can write, we
can come and go...
967
00:55:56,344 --> 00:55:58,112
I don't think I'll be
able to concentrate.
968
00:56:00,451 --> 00:56:01,685
And if I write,
969
00:56:01,820 --> 00:56:03,059
you might show up
in it somewhere
970
00:56:03,083 --> 00:56:04,391
and I don't wanna do that.
971
00:56:04,527 --> 00:56:07,259
Yeah. That could
complicate your life
972
00:56:07,395 --> 00:56:09,162
if the police investigate.
973
00:56:09,298 --> 00:56:10,492
Well, I'm not gonna do it.
974
00:56:10,628 --> 00:56:11,864
Wait till I'm dead.
975
00:56:12,000 --> 00:56:14,095
Oh, God!
976
00:56:14,230 --> 00:56:17,736
Can you not say, "Wait
until I'm dead," please?
977
00:56:20,372 --> 00:56:21,443
I promise.
978
00:56:24,109 --> 00:56:25,656
I'd like to find a gym
somewhere around here
979
00:56:25,680 --> 00:56:27,280
that I can go to a
couple of days a week.
980
00:56:29,615 --> 00:56:30,747
I'm the only one who eats
981
00:56:30,882 --> 00:56:32,021
and I don't want
to gain ten pounds
982
00:56:32,045 --> 00:56:33,045
while you waste away.
983
00:56:33,123 --> 00:56:34,549
Oh, give me a chance.
984
00:56:34,685 --> 00:56:35,853
I'll catch up with you.
985
00:56:39,590 --> 00:56:40,891
Look, I'm eating.
986
00:56:43,229 --> 00:56:45,764
I have practically
held death in my hands.
987
00:56:47,728 --> 00:56:50,703
I never imagined it would
be something so light.
988
00:57:26,877 --> 00:57:27,877
Martha?
989
00:57:32,347 --> 00:57:33,347
Good morning.
990
00:57:33,413 --> 00:57:35,050
Good morning.
991
00:57:35,185 --> 00:57:36,309
I'm making breakfast.
992
00:57:37,616 --> 00:57:38,647
You want some toast?
993
00:57:38,782 --> 00:57:40,586
No, just some coffee.
994
00:57:40,722 --> 00:57:42,002
Help yourself.
It's already made.
995
00:57:42,126 --> 00:57:44,421
There's juice, fruit...
996
00:57:44,556 --> 00:57:45,791
whatever you want.
997
00:57:51,393 --> 00:57:54,635
My behavior yesterday
was unacceptable.
998
00:57:54,771 --> 00:57:58,772
I completely understand
that it drove you crazy.
999
00:57:58,907 --> 00:58:02,236
But in my current state,
I can't make any promises.
1000
00:58:03,246 --> 00:58:04,403
So, just in case...
1001
00:58:07,310 --> 00:58:10,614
I put a medium-range
sedative in this drawer.
1002
00:58:10,750 --> 00:58:12,310
And if you find me unbearable,
1003
00:58:12,446 --> 00:58:15,852
you just have one
and you can relax.
1004
00:58:15,988 --> 00:58:17,321
I could have used
that last night.
1005
00:58:17,456 --> 00:58:19,223
You...
1006
00:58:19,359 --> 00:58:22,161
You're one of a kind, Martha.
You really... You really are.
1007
00:58:23,961 --> 00:58:25,826
I've made a list
of stuff to buy.
1008
00:58:25,961 --> 00:58:27,261
We need a few things.
1009
00:58:28,804 --> 00:58:30,264
Is there anything
you want me to get?
1010
00:58:31,569 --> 00:58:32,673
Don't think so.
1011
00:58:34,106 --> 00:58:35,643
Do you wanna come to
the store with me?
1012
00:58:37,642 --> 00:58:39,311
Maybe another day.
1013
00:58:39,446 --> 00:58:41,911
It's so nice here.
1014
00:58:42,046 --> 00:58:44,217
I'd like to stay
if you don't mind.
1015
00:58:44,352 --> 00:58:45,686
No, of course not.
1016
00:58:47,951 --> 00:58:50,915
I found a gym nearby, too.
1017
00:58:51,051 --> 00:58:52,393
That's great.
1018
00:58:52,529 --> 00:58:54,222
I think that's a very good idea.
1019
00:58:57,530 --> 00:59:00,063
Okay, well...
1020
00:59:00,198 --> 00:59:02,395
I have my phone with me
if you need anything.
1021
00:59:03,272 --> 00:59:04,463
Thanks, love.
1022
00:59:20,353 --> 00:59:21,588
Hi.
1023
00:59:21,724 --> 00:59:23,026
I was hoping I could
use the gym today.
1024
00:59:23,050 --> 00:59:24,383
Are you a member?
1025
00:59:24,519 --> 00:59:26,002
Uh, no. I'm just in
town for a little bit.
1026
00:59:26,026 --> 00:59:27,572
If you use one of our
personal trainers,
1027
00:59:27,596 --> 00:59:29,059
you don't need to be a member.
1028
00:59:29,195 --> 00:59:31,497
Um, okay. I'll use one
of your trainers then.
1029
00:59:31,633 --> 00:59:33,228
You'll like Jonah, you'll see.
1030
00:59:34,169 --> 00:59:35,704
Thanks.
1031
00:59:35,839 --> 00:59:37,996
So, would you like to start
a warm up doing steps?
1032
00:59:38,132 --> 00:59:39,773
- Okay.
- Is okay?
1033
00:59:39,908 --> 00:59:42,943
Do you think you can
do this for 30 seconds?
1034
00:59:43,078 --> 00:59:45,713
- Um, sure. All right.
- Okay, go for it. Have a try.
1035
00:59:46,779 --> 00:59:49,242
And we are on. Okay, nice.
1036
00:59:49,377 --> 00:59:50,727
- Keep focus on your leg.
- Mmm-hmm.
1037
00:59:50,751 --> 00:59:52,244
And, if you can,
move your arm...
1038
00:59:52,380 --> 00:59:53,721
- Okay.
- Okay, with each step.
1039
00:59:54,949 --> 00:59:56,658
And we are done.
1040
00:59:56,793 --> 00:59:59,624
Nice. You're pretty
strong, you young lady.
1041
00:59:59,760 --> 01:00:01,456
What I am is winded.
1042
01:00:01,592 --> 01:00:04,129
Well, if you want, there are
other variations we can do.
1043
01:00:05,669 --> 01:00:07,367
I mean, you can
go try like this.
1044
01:00:07,503 --> 01:00:09,097
You can go back and forth.
1045
01:00:09,233 --> 01:00:12,100
Or you can jump
on it and go left
1046
01:00:12,235 --> 01:00:14,905
and right or back
and on the box.
1047
01:00:15,041 --> 01:00:16,673
- Okay. Okay.
- Have a try one more.
1048
01:00:16,809 --> 01:00:19,910
Nice.
1049
01:00:20,046 --> 01:00:21,417
- Focus on your core here.
- Uh-huh.
1050
01:00:21,441 --> 01:00:24,119
And breathe.
1051
01:00:24,254 --> 01:00:26,082
Inhale and exhale.
1052
01:00:28,720 --> 01:00:29,750
Perfect. One more.
1053
01:00:33,957 --> 01:00:34,993
Is everything okay?
1054
01:00:40,365 --> 01:00:43,100
When the body's in great
shape, it takes longer to die.
1055
01:00:45,638 --> 01:00:47,270
When death comes,
1056
01:00:47,406 --> 01:00:50,479
the mind wants to go, but
the body keeps fighting.
1057
01:00:50,614 --> 01:00:53,341
Heart beating "no"
with every beat.
1058
01:00:54,117 --> 01:00:55,541
Well...
1059
01:00:55,676 --> 01:00:58,685
all the more reason to
look after yourself.
1060
01:00:58,821 --> 01:01:00,121
I live with a
friend who's dying.
1061
01:01:00,256 --> 01:01:01,283
I'm sorry.
1062
01:01:02,458 --> 01:01:04,319
Come. Let's have a seat.
1063
01:01:05,052 --> 01:01:06,052
Come here.
1064
01:01:10,293 --> 01:01:12,195
Is there anything that I can do?
1065
01:01:18,509 --> 01:01:20,907
I wish I could give you a hug,
1066
01:01:21,042 --> 01:01:23,006
but we're not allowed
to touch clients anymore
1067
01:01:23,142 --> 01:01:25,373
because of the
lawsuits and whatever.
1068
01:01:28,682 --> 01:01:31,017
And it's a problem,
1069
01:01:31,152 --> 01:01:32,990
because it can be hard to
correct people's posture
1070
01:01:33,014 --> 01:01:34,785
with just words,
1071
01:01:34,921 --> 01:01:36,725
and touching is so important.
1072
01:01:38,090 --> 01:01:40,551
This world is
absurd and inhumane.
1073
01:01:40,687 --> 01:01:42,995
I don't see it
improving any time soon.
1074
01:01:45,360 --> 01:01:47,564
But thank you, I feel hugged.
1075
01:01:54,570 --> 01:01:57,736
Oh, I've been meaning
to read this book.
1076
01:01:57,871 --> 01:02:00,611
Isn't it a wonderful
title? Erotic Vagrancy.
1077
01:02:00,747 --> 01:02:01,849
Do you wanna buy it?
1078
01:02:04,049 --> 01:02:05,754
I won't have time to finish it.
1079
01:02:12,652 --> 01:02:14,558
I like the way
it's laid out here.
1080
01:02:14,694 --> 01:02:15,694
Mmm.
1081
01:02:15,793 --> 01:02:17,264
Oh, look.
1082
01:02:17,399 --> 01:02:18,657
Martha Gellhorn.
1083
01:02:19,702 --> 01:02:21,198
The View from the Ground.
1084
01:02:23,699 --> 01:02:27,906
She wrote that you only
ever truly love one war,
1085
01:02:28,042 --> 01:02:29,976
after that you're
just doing your duty.
1086
01:02:32,240 --> 01:02:33,606
Which one was yours?
1087
01:02:35,276 --> 01:02:37,214
Bosnia, without a doubt.
1088
01:02:42,992 --> 01:02:45,727
The fight to survive
by the Bosnian people
1089
01:02:45,862 --> 01:02:48,760
against a perfectly
equipped army...
1090
01:02:48,896 --> 01:02:50,390
stole the hearts of all of us
1091
01:02:50,526 --> 01:02:52,933
who witnessed the extermination.
1092
01:02:53,068 --> 01:02:55,969
There are very few women
war correspondents.
1093
01:02:57,199 --> 01:02:59,631
War is a man's thing.
1094
01:02:59,767 --> 01:03:01,841
You have to sort of
become one of the guys
1095
01:03:01,977 --> 01:03:03,808
and it was never
a problem for me,
1096
01:03:03,944 --> 01:03:06,112
I've always lived like a man.
1097
01:03:06,247 --> 01:03:11,083
Actually, I think what
Michelle really missed...
1098
01:03:11,218 --> 01:03:13,745
was having a maternal
figure in her life.
1099
01:03:14,723 --> 01:03:17,887
And in this, I must admit
1100
01:03:18,022 --> 01:03:19,923
she... she was right.
1101
01:03:20,059 --> 01:03:21,588
Don't be so hard on yourself.
1102
01:03:26,461 --> 01:03:29,261
Hey, look who's coming to town!
1103
01:03:29,396 --> 01:03:31,263
The life of the party!
1104
01:03:31,399 --> 01:03:33,271
"How bad can it get?
1105
01:03:33,406 --> 01:03:35,167
Navigating urban
life with integrity."
1106
01:03:35,303 --> 01:03:36,669
You feel like going?
1107
01:03:36,804 --> 01:03:38,287
No, you know what?
I've heard it already
1108
01:03:38,311 --> 01:03:40,079
and it's not an evening
I'd like to repeat.
1109
01:03:40,214 --> 01:03:42,476
We all have our own
personal apocalypses.
1110
01:03:42,611 --> 01:03:44,312
Are you having an
awful time with me?
1111
01:03:44,448 --> 01:03:47,016
No, no, I meant
him, his lecture.
1112
01:03:47,152 --> 01:03:48,915
Global crisis, climate change.
1113
01:03:49,050 --> 01:03:50,050
Yeah.
1114
01:03:50,425 --> 01:03:51,524
Hi.
1115
01:03:51,659 --> 01:03:52,685
I love your hair.
1116
01:03:53,395 --> 01:03:54,395
Nice.
1117
01:04:05,469 --> 01:04:08,468
When the nightmares
come rushing in,
1118
01:04:08,604 --> 01:04:11,106
I think about all
the men I've loved.
1119
01:04:11,242 --> 01:04:12,678
Sounds like a song.
1120
01:04:12,813 --> 01:04:14,612
A good one.
1121
01:04:17,150 --> 01:04:19,118
Even if it was
just for one night.
1122
01:04:20,518 --> 01:04:23,320
Sometimes I think about Damian.
1123
01:04:28,393 --> 01:04:30,590
I still think sex
is the best way
1124
01:04:30,726 --> 01:04:32,824
to fend off looming
thoughts of death.
1125
01:04:34,397 --> 01:04:36,498
Like those Spanish Carmelites.
1126
01:04:38,537 --> 01:04:41,342
Wars turned me into a
promiscuous woman, Ingrid.
1127
01:04:41,478 --> 01:04:42,834
Good.
1128
01:04:44,838 --> 01:04:46,173
Are you still in touch with him?
1129
01:04:46,308 --> 01:04:48,411
- With who?
- Damian.
1130
01:04:49,550 --> 01:04:51,148
Um...
1131
01:04:51,284 --> 01:04:52,679
You know... Um,
from time to time.
1132
01:04:55,286 --> 01:04:57,849
"How bad can it get?"
1133
01:04:59,693 --> 01:05:01,457
Well...
1134
01:05:01,592 --> 01:05:04,757
much worse than you
imagine, Damian, honey.
1135
01:05:08,503 --> 01:05:09,503
Hey.
1136
01:05:10,573 --> 01:05:11,573
You all right?
1137
01:05:12,675 --> 01:05:13,942
I was trying to write.
1138
01:05:15,411 --> 01:05:16,411
I can't.
1139
01:05:19,545 --> 01:05:23,715
In this war, I'm incapable
of writing anything.
1140
01:05:23,851 --> 01:05:24,876
What about reading?
1141
01:05:26,182 --> 01:05:27,186
You love to read.
1142
01:05:27,919 --> 01:05:29,089
I've tried.
1143
01:05:30,918 --> 01:05:33,291
I've tried with some
of my favorite writers.
1144
01:05:35,526 --> 01:05:37,966
The spell just
isn't there anymore.
1145
01:05:40,737 --> 01:05:42,498
I'm talking about Faulkner,
1146
01:05:43,935 --> 01:05:45,039
Hemingway...
1147
01:05:46,940 --> 01:05:48,372
I can't concentrate.
1148
01:05:49,936 --> 01:05:53,278
My mind just flies
off into the void.
1149
01:05:54,574 --> 01:05:56,116
If you're too tired,
1150
01:05:57,621 --> 01:05:58,646
I could read to you.
1151
01:06:01,756 --> 01:06:02,914
Not just reading,
1152
01:06:04,321 --> 01:06:06,291
all pleasure's been reduced.
1153
01:06:08,895 --> 01:06:10,128
It's hard to know
1154
01:06:10,264 --> 01:06:12,462
what to pay
attention to anymore.
1155
01:06:15,595 --> 01:06:16,928
I have very little time
1156
01:06:18,072 --> 01:06:19,403
and I don't want to waste it.
1157
01:06:21,577 --> 01:06:23,011
Okay. Um...
1158
01:06:26,440 --> 01:06:29,875
What about music?
1159
01:06:32,320 --> 01:06:35,618
I can only listen to
the birds singing.
1160
01:06:35,754 --> 01:06:38,856
Well, luckily, they give
us a serenade every day.
1161
01:06:38,992 --> 01:06:42,020
Music decenters me.
1162
01:06:42,156 --> 01:06:44,963
It comes between me and
whatever it is I'm doing,
1163
01:06:45,098 --> 01:06:46,628
even if it's just thinking.
1164
01:06:48,269 --> 01:06:51,197
Maybe the chemo is
affecting my hearing.
1165
01:06:51,332 --> 01:06:53,635
Oh, honey.
1166
01:06:53,771 --> 01:06:56,671
I've been reduced to
very little of myself.
1167
01:07:05,155 --> 01:07:08,221
I long for some peace
of body and mind.
1168
01:07:11,019 --> 01:07:14,161
And to just talk whenever
I'm invaded by memory.
1169
01:07:15,391 --> 01:07:16,623
Am I talking too much?
1170
01:07:16,758 --> 01:07:18,731
No, no, no, no.
Talk all you want,
1171
01:07:18,867 --> 01:07:20,326
I love listening to you.
1172
01:10:05,196 --> 01:10:06,999
What's going on?
1173
01:10:07,135 --> 01:10:08,698
What's wrong?
1174
01:10:11,330 --> 01:10:13,637
Your door was closed,
so I thought you...
1175
01:10:15,174 --> 01:10:17,536
Oh, I'm so sorry.
1176
01:10:17,671 --> 01:10:18,904
I opened a window
1177
01:10:19,040 --> 01:10:21,748
and the breeze must
have closed it.
1178
01:10:21,883 --> 01:10:23,009
Oh, my God!
1179
01:10:30,326 --> 01:10:32,023
Do you think it's
fair to be mad at me
1180
01:10:32,159 --> 01:10:33,756
because I'm still alive?
1181
01:10:37,132 --> 01:10:39,091
Think of it as a rehearsal.
1182
01:10:40,697 --> 01:10:42,435
Now you know how it's gonna be.
1183
01:10:43,733 --> 01:10:45,471
You know how you're gonna feel.
1184
01:10:47,200 --> 01:10:49,408
You're gonna have
to make some calls
1185
01:10:49,544 --> 01:10:52,980
and act out all the
things we talked about.
1186
01:10:53,116 --> 01:10:54,942
And you never knew anything...
1187
01:10:56,019 --> 01:10:57,246
and we were on vacation...
1188
01:10:57,381 --> 01:10:59,078
Please, just stop!
1189
01:11:00,888 --> 01:11:02,054
Okay.
1190
01:12:11,787 --> 01:12:13,152
Should we call it a night?
1191
01:12:14,159 --> 01:12:15,694
Oh!
1192
01:12:15,829 --> 01:12:18,091
Or does the young lady
wanna keep watching movies?
1193
01:12:19,765 --> 01:12:22,667
Did you tell me that
they have The Dead?
1194
01:12:23,897 --> 01:12:25,004
Or did I dream that?
1195
01:12:25,140 --> 01:12:27,105
Yeah, they have it.
1196
01:12:27,241 --> 01:12:29,201
Um, you wanna watch it?
1197
01:12:30,011 --> 01:12:31,109
Yes, please.
1198
01:12:31,245 --> 01:12:32,644
Here we go.
1199
01:12:35,313 --> 01:12:36,351
Here we go.
1200
01:12:46,859 --> 01:12:49,891
Yes, the newspapers are right.
1201
01:12:50,027 --> 01:12:53,832
Snow is general
all over Ireland.
1202
01:12:53,967 --> 01:12:57,697
Falling on every part of
the dark central plain,
1203
01:12:57,832 --> 01:12:59,737
on the treeless hills.
1204
01:13:00,969 --> 01:13:04,071
Softly upon the Bog of Allen
1205
01:13:04,206 --> 01:13:07,942
and farther westward,
softly falling
1206
01:13:08,077 --> 01:13:13,048
into the dark mutinous
Shannon waves.
1207
01:13:13,183 --> 01:13:16,215
One by one, we're
all becoming shades.
1208
01:13:18,660 --> 01:13:21,890
Snow is falling,
1209
01:13:22,025 --> 01:13:24,256
falling in that
lonely churchyard
1210
01:13:24,391 --> 01:13:26,258
where Michael Furey lies buried.
1211
01:13:28,132 --> 01:13:30,334
Falling faintly
through the universe
1212
01:13:30,470 --> 01:13:33,540
and faintly falling,
1213
01:13:33,675 --> 01:13:36,169
like the descent
of their last end,
1214
01:13:37,646 --> 01:13:41,207
upon all the living
and the dead.
1215
01:14:00,729 --> 01:14:01,729
Do you hear them?
1216
01:14:02,300 --> 01:14:03,328
Mmm-hmm.
1217
01:14:11,905 --> 01:14:12,909
It's daytime.
1218
01:14:17,581 --> 01:14:18,816
And you're alive.
1219
01:14:29,429 --> 01:14:30,955
Oh, this is too much.
1220
01:14:31,090 --> 01:14:32,266
- Yeah?
- This is harder
1221
01:14:32,401 --> 01:14:33,831
- than I thought it'd be.
- Okay.
1222
01:14:36,403 --> 01:14:37,669
I think I need to sit.
1223
01:14:37,804 --> 01:14:40,437
All right. Yeah, let's
go sit over here.
1224
01:14:40,572 --> 01:14:42,070
Here, let me help you.
1225
01:14:46,239 --> 01:14:48,714
Hey, I've got you. Here we go.
1226
01:14:49,513 --> 01:14:50,551
Here you go.
1227
01:14:51,921 --> 01:14:53,048
Okay.
1228
01:14:54,584 --> 01:14:56,555
Oh!
1229
01:14:56,690 --> 01:14:58,790
- Oh, that's much better.
- Oh, good.
1230
01:15:02,863 --> 01:15:05,961
Before coming here,
I made a new will.
1231
01:15:06,097 --> 01:15:08,668
Aw, let's not talk
about this now, please.
1232
01:15:10,300 --> 01:15:12,402
I'm leaving the apartment
and everything in it
1233
01:15:12,538 --> 01:15:14,168
to Michelle and you.
1234
01:15:19,946 --> 01:15:23,110
I found your war
journals in your desk.
1235
01:15:23,245 --> 01:15:25,614
What do you want
us to do with them?
1236
01:15:25,750 --> 01:15:27,485
Is it okay if I read them?
1237
01:15:27,620 --> 01:15:29,018
Of course you can read them.
1238
01:15:32,492 --> 01:15:34,161
Can I tell your story?
1239
01:15:34,297 --> 01:15:35,563
You can do what you want.
1240
01:15:36,626 --> 01:15:37,895
I won't be here.
1241
01:15:39,992 --> 01:15:41,030
Can I say that?
1242
01:15:41,663 --> 01:15:42,669
No.
1243
01:15:43,863 --> 01:15:44,869
Okay.
1244
01:16:39,057 --> 01:16:40,793
Let's not talk about
this now, okay?
1245
01:16:42,092 --> 01:16:44,599
All right, I'll
see you there. Bye.
1246
01:16:51,836 --> 01:16:53,667
Dear Ingrid,
1247
01:16:53,802 --> 01:16:57,843
Today is such a beautiful day
that it seemed to me it...
1248
01:16:59,873 --> 01:17:00,873
Hey.
1249
01:17:01,380 --> 01:17:02,380
Hi.
1250
01:17:02,484 --> 01:17:04,350
- Everything okay?
- Yeah.
1251
01:17:04,486 --> 01:17:06,443
This breeze is delicious.
1252
01:17:06,579 --> 01:17:08,755
Be careful, it's
a little chilly.
1253
01:17:10,290 --> 01:17:11,692
Um...
1254
01:17:11,827 --> 01:17:13,627
If you don't need me,
I'm gonna go to the gym.
1255
01:17:13,759 --> 01:17:15,157
But I can stay if you want.
1256
01:17:15,292 --> 01:17:17,461
No. Please, go. I don't
want to be a downer.
1257
01:17:17,597 --> 01:17:18,862
You're not a downer.
1258
01:17:18,998 --> 01:17:21,327
You've been pretty well-behaved.
1259
01:17:21,463 --> 01:17:23,803
Have you talked to
your trainer about me?
1260
01:17:25,030 --> 01:17:26,340
Um...
1261
01:17:26,475 --> 01:17:29,270
Well... I mean, it came up.
1262
01:17:29,405 --> 01:17:31,677
I was talking about
being in good shape
1263
01:17:31,813 --> 01:17:34,674
and the heart
beating to survive.
1264
01:17:34,809 --> 01:17:37,817
You know, everything that you
talked about in the hospital
1265
01:17:37,952 --> 01:17:40,083
and he looked at me
like I was a lunatic,
1266
01:17:40,218 --> 01:17:42,617
so I told him I had a
friend that was sick.
1267
01:17:42,752 --> 01:17:44,858
That's all.
1268
01:17:44,993 --> 01:17:49,756
Just remember, you know
nothing about anything.
1269
01:17:49,891 --> 01:17:50,929
Mm.
1270
01:17:55,262 --> 01:17:56,968
Come here, give me a kiss.
1271
01:17:59,640 --> 01:18:00,906
- You okay?
- Yes.
1272
01:18:23,893 --> 01:18:25,161
- Hi.
- Hi.
1273
01:18:30,364 --> 01:18:32,703
I lied to her, I don't like it.
1274
01:18:32,839 --> 01:18:34,074
Well, you'll have to practice.
1275
01:18:34,209 --> 01:18:35,999
Lying?
1276
01:18:36,135 --> 01:18:39,376
Yes. Officially, you aren't
aware of Martha's intentions.
1277
01:18:39,511 --> 01:18:40,979
Yeah.
1278
01:18:41,115 --> 01:18:43,014
And I found a lawyer,
in case you need one.
1279
01:18:43,149 --> 01:18:45,145
Thank you. Let's not
talk about this now.
1280
01:18:45,280 --> 01:18:48,220
- Mm.
- How'd your lecture go?
1281
01:18:48,355 --> 01:18:51,891
Well, they weren't too happy
about my not taking questions.
1282
01:18:53,394 --> 01:18:55,721
In the end,
1283
01:18:55,856 --> 01:18:58,860
people started muttering and
someone called me a coward.
1284
01:18:58,995 --> 01:19:00,631
It doesn't bother me.
1285
01:19:00,767 --> 01:19:02,770
I spent way too much time
1286
01:19:02,905 --> 01:19:05,602
caring about my
reputation, and for what?
1287
01:19:05,737 --> 01:19:08,083
So, what are you doing with all
that time you've gotten back?
1288
01:19:08,107 --> 01:19:11,745
Are you doing more
of what you love?
1289
01:19:11,881 --> 01:19:14,274
I have to admit that
my interest in things
1290
01:19:14,409 --> 01:19:16,784
has been shrinking
as I get older.
1291
01:19:18,515 --> 01:19:20,647
Martha said the same
thing a couple days ago.
1292
01:19:20,783 --> 01:19:23,247
There are so few things left
that she can really enjoy.
1293
01:19:23,383 --> 01:19:25,155
- I understand.
- Mm.
1294
01:19:26,385 --> 01:19:28,128
But you're not sick.
1295
01:19:28,263 --> 01:19:30,238
No, but I feel the same way,
especially after the pandemic.
1296
01:19:30,262 --> 01:19:32,558
I don't go to the cinema
or listen to music.
1297
01:19:33,435 --> 01:19:35,065
I... I read a lot,
1298
01:19:35,201 --> 01:19:37,070
but only subjects to
do with my lectures.
1299
01:19:37,205 --> 01:19:39,565
Mm. You still go to galleries?
You used to love that.
1300
01:19:39,700 --> 01:19:41,248
When we were together,
we'd go all the time
1301
01:19:41,272 --> 01:19:43,376
and talk about how
powerful the art is.
1302
01:19:43,512 --> 01:19:45,573
You still like that?
1303
01:19:45,708 --> 01:19:48,311
Even if every poet in the
world sat down to write a poem
1304
01:19:48,446 --> 01:19:50,818
about the climate crisis,
it wouldn't save one tree.
1305
01:19:50,953 --> 01:19:52,981
At least you're still
interested in trees.
1306
01:19:53,116 --> 01:19:54,720
I'm interested in sex, too.
1307
01:19:54,855 --> 01:19:56,455
Well, then you're not that bad.
1308
01:19:56,590 --> 01:19:58,950
When I was young,
1309
01:19:59,085 --> 01:20:02,955
if a day went by without sex,
I thought it was incomplete.
1310
01:20:03,090 --> 01:20:04,990
I remember that.
1311
01:20:05,126 --> 01:20:09,331
I'm not nostalgic, but I miss
the nights when we'd drink...
1312
01:20:10,430 --> 01:20:12,966
and take drugs, have sex,
1313
01:20:13,101 --> 01:20:16,004
all that didn't distract us from
what we really wanted to do.
1314
01:20:16,140 --> 01:20:18,502
You drank and you took drugs.
1315
01:20:18,637 --> 01:20:20,439
I mean, more than I did anyway.
1316
01:20:20,575 --> 01:20:22,514
I don't know how much you drank,
1317
01:20:22,649 --> 01:20:26,018
but you always acted as you were
as blitzed as the rest of us.
1318
01:20:26,154 --> 01:20:29,149
But you were an essential
part of the party.
1319
01:20:29,284 --> 01:20:30,955
That is, until you got bored
1320
01:20:31,091 --> 01:20:32,783
and went off to discover Europe.
1321
01:20:34,256 --> 01:20:35,489
You want to talk about that?
1322
01:20:36,797 --> 01:20:37,877
Tell me about your lecture.
1323
01:20:39,563 --> 01:20:43,627
I admit that I've become
something of a monomaniac.
1324
01:20:43,762 --> 01:20:45,631
My own son is no
longer speaking to me
1325
01:20:45,766 --> 01:20:48,007
because I didn't hide
how appalled I was
1326
01:20:48,142 --> 01:20:50,667
that his wife is
expecting another child.
1327
01:20:50,803 --> 01:20:52,087
He doesn't want me
anywhere near her
1328
01:20:52,111 --> 01:20:54,040
for fear she'll
have a miscarriage.
1329
01:20:54,175 --> 01:20:56,291
What? How could you tell him
that he can't have another child?
1330
01:20:56,315 --> 01:20:58,611
- It's their third!
- What...
1331
01:20:58,746 --> 01:21:00,777
So, what's the next
logical alternative?
1332
01:21:00,913 --> 01:21:02,330
For people to start
killing themselves?
1333
01:21:02,354 --> 01:21:04,520
People should be aware,
once and for all,
1334
01:21:04,656 --> 01:21:06,817
of the state of the fucking
planet they're living on.
1335
01:21:08,824 --> 01:21:11,755
Well, perhaps this isn't
the best subject for you.
1336
01:21:11,891 --> 01:21:15,535
You're living with a
dying woman in a world
1337
01:21:15,671 --> 01:21:17,872
also in its death throes.
1338
01:21:20,343 --> 01:21:22,904
Do you really think the
situation is that desperate?
1339
01:21:23,039 --> 01:21:27,444
Yes. Read the science and see
what the world is doing with it.
1340
01:21:27,580 --> 01:21:31,549
They're releasing more CO2
into the air than ever before.
1341
01:21:31,684 --> 01:21:33,484
Sooner or later,
1342
01:21:33,620 --> 01:21:38,388
and I fear it will be sooner,
all this will be shot to hell.
1343
01:21:38,523 --> 01:21:42,028
Nothing is going to hasten
the end of the planet
1344
01:21:42,163 --> 01:21:45,060
more than the survival
of neo-liberalism
1345
01:21:45,196 --> 01:21:46,826
and the rise of the far right.
1346
01:21:46,961 --> 01:21:50,729
And we have both of them
here, marching side by side.
1347
01:21:54,066 --> 01:21:57,208
Sorry, I didn't want to
bring you down, but...
1348
01:21:58,505 --> 01:22:00,511
I get riled up with this.
1349
01:22:00,647 --> 01:22:04,010
You cannot go around telling
people that there's no hope.
1350
01:22:04,145 --> 01:22:05,712
It's tragic.
1351
01:22:05,848 --> 01:22:08,380
And maybe it's really
unpleasant of me to say so,
1352
01:22:08,516 --> 01:22:10,724
but I've completely lost faith
1353
01:22:10,860 --> 01:22:12,888
in people doing the right thing.
1354
01:22:13,024 --> 01:22:15,504
I'm living every day expecting
to find Martha's body in her bed,
1355
01:22:15,596 --> 01:22:19,466
but that doesn't stop me from
enjoying every minute with her,
1356
01:22:19,601 --> 01:22:21,562
just the opposite.
1357
01:22:21,697 --> 01:22:24,963
I'm learning from her
and you should, too,
1358
01:22:25,099 --> 01:22:28,008
because there are lots of
ways to live inside a tragedy.
1359
01:22:29,909 --> 01:22:32,446
Of course it's painful,
1360
01:22:32,581 --> 01:22:34,608
but I can take it.
1361
01:22:35,717 --> 01:22:37,883
And I'm trying to live
1362
01:22:38,018 --> 01:22:40,580
with the same joy that she has,
1363
01:22:40,716 --> 01:22:43,551
and with the same
appreciation, so...
1364
01:22:43,686 --> 01:22:46,387
the last thing I need
is a speech like yours.
1365
01:22:46,522 --> 01:22:47,995
I've always admired
you for that.
1366
01:22:49,354 --> 01:22:50,955
What?
1367
01:22:51,091 --> 01:22:53,297
You're one of the only people
who knows how to suffer
1368
01:22:53,433 --> 01:22:56,003
without making others
feel guilty about it.
1369
01:23:38,311 --> 01:23:40,539
Do you think it
will be much longer?
1370
01:23:40,674 --> 01:23:43,941
No, it'll be soon. Any day now.
1371
01:23:45,248 --> 01:23:47,048
You have to be prepared.
1372
01:23:47,183 --> 01:23:48,515
I know the police.
1373
01:23:48,651 --> 01:23:50,390
They'll ask you all
sorts of questions,
1374
01:23:50,525 --> 01:23:53,288
they'll dig into your
relationship like scavengers.
1375
01:23:53,423 --> 01:23:55,126
You need a kind
of mental script.
1376
01:23:55,262 --> 01:23:57,998
No, I thought about
it, I do have it.
1377
01:23:58,134 --> 01:24:00,996
Good. Stay strong and
stick to your story.
1378
01:24:01,132 --> 01:24:02,631
And when it happens,
1379
01:24:02,766 --> 01:24:05,202
you should call the
police before you call me.
1380
01:24:05,338 --> 01:24:06,618
No, I need to call her daughter.
1381
01:24:06,669 --> 01:24:08,141
I should call her
before I call you.
1382
01:24:08,276 --> 01:24:10,605
Okay, but be careful
what you say to her.
1383
01:24:10,740 --> 01:24:13,338
I had to tell the lawyer
about the situation.
1384
01:24:13,473 --> 01:24:16,742
Why do we have to go through
all this, like we're criminals?
1385
01:24:16,877 --> 01:24:18,347
Shouldn't dying
people have the right
1386
01:24:18,483 --> 01:24:19,878
to end their lives with dignity?
1387
01:24:20,013 --> 01:24:22,282
They will, once our
teetering health system
1388
01:24:22,417 --> 01:24:23,882
completely collapses.
1389
01:25:01,057 --> 01:25:02,096
Martha?
1390
01:25:22,643 --> 01:25:24,478
Dear Ingrid,
1391
01:25:24,613 --> 01:25:27,310
today is such a beautiful day
1392
01:25:27,446 --> 01:25:30,786
that it seemed to me it
was the moment to leave.
1393
01:25:30,922 --> 01:25:34,519
It consoled me that you
weren't in the room downstairs,
1394
01:25:34,655 --> 01:25:36,863
even though that was the idea.
1395
01:25:36,998 --> 01:25:40,493
But you know I always improvise
1396
01:25:40,629 --> 01:25:42,366
and I'm almost happy that,
1397
01:25:42,502 --> 01:25:45,564
while I fade away
on the lounger,
1398
01:25:45,699 --> 01:25:47,438
you're out in the world,
1399
01:25:47,574 --> 01:25:51,510
experiencing something
different to my death.
1400
01:25:51,646 --> 01:25:54,841
No one will be able to
accuse you of complicity.
1401
01:25:56,149 --> 01:25:57,780
You have accompanied me
1402
01:25:57,915 --> 01:26:02,486
as much as any human being
can accompany another.
1403
01:26:02,622 --> 01:26:05,588
Call my daughter and
tell her I'm sorry.
1404
01:26:06,896 --> 01:26:09,295
And thank you, love.
1405
01:26:34,953 --> 01:26:35,981
Martha.
1406
01:26:39,654 --> 01:26:41,228
I'll do whatever you want.
1407
01:27:08,823 --> 01:27:11,417
We had dinner and then we
watched a Buster Keaton movie.
1408
01:27:11,553 --> 01:27:12,919
I told you this already.
1409
01:27:13,054 --> 01:27:15,095
And you didn't notice
anything strange,
1410
01:27:15,231 --> 01:27:17,363
anything that made
you suspect...
1411
01:27:19,933 --> 01:27:21,301
Try to remember.
1412
01:27:21,436 --> 01:27:23,929
I remember it perfectly,
it was a fun night.
1413
01:27:24,065 --> 01:27:26,701
There were no gestures?
Nothing she said?
1414
01:27:26,837 --> 01:27:29,604
We said goodnight and
then I went upstairs
1415
01:27:29,740 --> 01:27:32,203
and I stayed up
late reading a book
1416
01:27:32,339 --> 01:27:34,909
that Martha had recommended
called Erotic Vagrancy.
1417
01:27:35,044 --> 01:27:37,741
It's about Elizabeth
Taylor and Richard Burton.
1418
01:27:37,877 --> 01:27:39,386
- Do you know it?
- No.
1419
01:27:39,521 --> 01:27:41,948
Martha and I both thought
that it was really fun.
1420
01:27:42,084 --> 01:27:44,324
Try to answer only the
questions I ask you.
1421
01:27:48,396 --> 01:27:49,796
What'd you do the
following morning?
1422
01:27:52,199 --> 01:27:54,257
I had lunch with a friend.
1423
01:27:54,392 --> 01:27:56,464
And when I came back,
I called out for her
1424
01:27:56,599 --> 01:27:58,267
and when she didn't answer,
1425
01:27:58,402 --> 01:28:00,137
I went to her bedroom.
1426
01:28:00,272 --> 01:28:02,201
But she wasn't there.
1427
01:28:02,337 --> 01:28:06,373
So I went into the backyard
and that's when I saw her.
1428
01:28:06,508 --> 01:28:09,274
And, at first, I thought that she
was asleep on the lounge chair
1429
01:28:09,409 --> 01:28:12,217
and I got really nervous
and I called the ambulance.
1430
01:28:12,352 --> 01:28:13,711
And they got there very quickly
1431
01:28:13,847 --> 01:28:15,722
and then the EMTs saw her
1432
01:28:15,857 --> 01:28:18,455
and then they said there was
nothing that they could do.
1433
01:28:18,591 --> 01:28:20,352
Nobody buys this
pill by accident
1434
01:28:20,487 --> 01:28:22,692
if they're not thinking of
suicide or killing someone,
1435
01:28:22,827 --> 01:28:24,423
so, you didn't know
anything about this?
1436
01:28:24,558 --> 01:28:26,258
About what?
1437
01:28:26,394 --> 01:28:28,139
About her being in possession
of this illegal compound.
1438
01:28:28,163 --> 01:28:31,634
No. She was taking
medication for the pain,
1439
01:28:31,770 --> 01:28:33,602
you know, patches
and pills, but she...
1440
01:28:33,738 --> 01:28:35,837
she never shared the
specifics with me.
1441
01:28:36,935 --> 01:28:38,640
It is strange that,
1442
01:28:38,775 --> 01:28:40,137
if you two were
such good friends,
1443
01:28:40,272 --> 01:28:43,375
that she didn't say
anything to you.
1444
01:28:43,510 --> 01:28:48,014
You can't just walk into a
drugstore and buy this pill.
1445
01:28:49,191 --> 01:28:50,621
It's very difficult to come by.
1446
01:28:52,052 --> 01:28:55,121
I think when she
rented the house,
1447
01:28:55,256 --> 01:28:57,830
she already knew what
she was gonna do, right?
1448
01:28:57,966 --> 01:28:59,759
It's possible,
1449
01:28:59,895 --> 01:29:02,302
but she didn't tell me anything.
1450
01:29:02,438 --> 01:29:04,262
She was exhausted from
the last treatment
1451
01:29:04,397 --> 01:29:06,073
and she wanted to take a
break before going back
1452
01:29:06,097 --> 01:29:08,100
for the next round of chemo.
1453
01:29:08,235 --> 01:29:09,975
She wasn't the type
to throw in the towel.
1454
01:29:10,111 --> 01:29:12,037
She didn't complain?
1455
01:29:12,173 --> 01:29:14,645
She didn't say anything
that made you sense...
1456
01:29:16,180 --> 01:29:17,812
the end?
1457
01:29:17,948 --> 01:29:19,428
It was a great
responsibility for you.
1458
01:29:20,617 --> 01:29:22,180
She complained sometimes.
1459
01:29:24,692 --> 01:29:29,152
What did she complain
about? What did she say?
1460
01:29:29,287 --> 01:29:32,531
She'd lost the
capacity for attention.
1461
01:29:32,666 --> 01:29:36,667
She couldn't read or
write, for example.
1462
01:29:38,572 --> 01:29:40,165
Her life was reduced
to surviving.
1463
01:29:40,300 --> 01:29:43,567
You know, I find it
very hard to believe
1464
01:29:43,702 --> 01:29:46,039
that she didn't say anything
that made you suspect the end.
1465
01:29:46,175 --> 01:29:48,446
It was more than evident
that she was very sick,
1466
01:29:48,581 --> 01:29:50,041
but she wanted to
take a vacation
1467
01:29:50,177 --> 01:29:51,293
before going back
to the hospital.
1468
01:29:51,317 --> 01:29:53,718
I told you this already.
1469
01:29:53,853 --> 01:29:59,217
So, we also spoke to some
of Martha's close friends.
1470
01:30:00,960 --> 01:30:04,156
In general, they all
coincide with your testimony.
1471
01:30:06,191 --> 01:30:08,866
But one of them, Stella Byrne,
1472
01:30:09,001 --> 01:30:11,438
told us that, after Martha
finished her chemotherapy,
1473
01:30:11,573 --> 01:30:14,403
that she proposed
that she accompany her
1474
01:30:14,539 --> 01:30:16,871
to a house in the country
1475
01:30:17,006 --> 01:30:19,908
where she intended
to commit suicide.
1476
01:30:23,944 --> 01:30:26,079
Asked her to, and I quote...
1477
01:30:27,552 --> 01:30:28,752
"Be in the room next door."
1478
01:30:32,292 --> 01:30:34,585
And her friend refused.
1479
01:30:34,720 --> 01:30:37,591
I wasn't in the room next door,
I was in the room downstairs.
1480
01:30:37,727 --> 01:30:39,122
When I spoke to Mrs. Byrne
1481
01:30:39,258 --> 01:30:40,538
and informed her of the suicide,
1482
01:30:40,634 --> 01:30:42,595
she told me she
wasn't surprised.
1483
01:30:42,730 --> 01:30:45,336
There's another word for what
Martha did, it's called euthanasia.
1484
01:30:45,471 --> 01:30:46,968
Well, call it what you want,
1485
01:30:47,103 --> 01:30:50,674
but, for me, what your
friend did is a crime
1486
01:30:50,810 --> 01:30:53,837
and, as a policeman,
as a human being,
1487
01:30:53,972 --> 01:30:56,375
as a man of faith,
1488
01:30:56,510 --> 01:31:00,312
I'm radically opposed to
anyone committing a crime.
1489
01:31:00,448 --> 01:31:02,489
And, of course, anyone
aiding and abetting in one.
1490
01:31:15,464 --> 01:31:17,768
Damian, can you come down to
the police station, please?
1491
01:31:18,534 --> 01:31:19,835
This is endless.
1492
01:31:19,971 --> 01:31:23,001
How do you explain
that your friend Martha
1493
01:31:23,136 --> 01:31:24,910
was so explicit with Mrs. Byrne
1494
01:31:25,045 --> 01:31:27,281
and yet she didn't tell you
anything about her intentions?
1495
01:31:27,305 --> 01:31:28,813
I'm not gonna say another word.
1496
01:31:28,948 --> 01:31:31,178
If I'm under arrest,
then tell me the charges.
1497
01:31:31,313 --> 01:31:33,217
Otherwise, I'll wait in
the hall for my lawyer.
1498
01:31:33,353 --> 01:31:34,719
Very foresighted of you.
1499
01:31:34,854 --> 01:31:36,681
What made you think
you'd need a lawyer?
1500
01:31:36,816 --> 01:31:39,951
Why don't you ask your friend,
he witnessed the interrogation.
1501
01:31:40,087 --> 01:31:44,160
I think you're lying.
1502
01:31:44,295 --> 01:31:46,375
And that you're the kind of
person who wouldn't say no
1503
01:31:46,461 --> 01:31:48,964
if a friend asked you for
help committing suicide.
1504
01:31:51,501 --> 01:31:52,563
Let her go.
1505
01:32:01,675 --> 01:32:03,148
Hey.
1506
01:32:03,283 --> 01:32:04,680
- Hi.
- Hi.
1507
01:32:04,815 --> 01:32:07,219
- How are you?
- I'm okay.
1508
01:32:07,355 --> 01:32:09,148
This is my lawyer, Sarah.
1509
01:32:09,283 --> 01:32:10,984
- Hi. Pleasure.
- Thank you for coming.
1510
01:32:11,120 --> 01:32:12,726
Of course. Damian's
filled me in.
1511
01:32:12,861 --> 01:32:14,936
Is there anything I should
know about the interrogation?
1512
01:32:14,960 --> 01:32:16,728
Well, he treated me
like I was the killer.
1513
01:32:16,863 --> 01:32:18,562
- But you were with me.
- He doesn't care.
1514
01:32:18,697 --> 01:32:20,032
He insists that I'm implicated.
1515
01:32:20,167 --> 01:32:21,535
Okay, but...
1516
01:32:21,670 --> 01:32:23,669
He spoke to a friend of
Martha, Stella Byrne,
1517
01:32:23,804 --> 01:32:25,700
who said that Martha
had approached her first
1518
01:32:25,835 --> 01:32:27,200
and she refused to help her.
1519
01:32:27,335 --> 01:32:29,165
Okay, well, I'm sure
everything was recorded.
1520
01:32:29,301 --> 01:32:30,875
Mm-hmm.
1521
01:32:31,011 --> 01:32:33,739
Um, and this police officer
witnessed everything.
1522
01:32:33,875 --> 01:32:35,174
You can come in now.
1523
01:32:35,309 --> 01:32:36,781
I'll go in alone.
I'm her attorney.
1524
01:32:38,752 --> 01:32:40,411
Don't worry, this
is all very clear.
1525
01:32:42,752 --> 01:32:43,884
Thank you for coming.
1526
01:32:44,020 --> 01:32:45,685
My pleasure.
1527
01:32:45,821 --> 01:32:47,956
Jesus! What an asshole!
1528
01:32:48,092 --> 01:32:50,623
I've never been treated
like that before.
1529
01:32:50,759 --> 01:32:53,199
You were unlucky enough to come
up against a religious fanatic,
1530
01:32:53,327 --> 01:32:54,708
but he's not gonna
bother you again.
1531
01:32:54,732 --> 01:32:55,897
I'm gonna file a complaint.
1532
01:32:56,032 --> 01:32:58,101
Thank you so much
for everything.
1533
01:32:58,236 --> 01:33:00,276
You still need to be available
for the next 48 hours
1534
01:33:00,367 --> 01:33:03,071
until forensic
formalities are done.
1535
01:33:03,206 --> 01:33:05,211
Um, I told them to
call me if necessary.
1536
01:33:05,346 --> 01:33:06,745
I'll be at the house.
1537
01:33:06,880 --> 01:33:07,886
Do you have all the
information you need?
1538
01:33:07,910 --> 01:33:09,749
Yes, Damian gave it to me.
1539
01:33:09,884 --> 01:33:11,946
Just give me a call if
anything comes up, okay?
1540
01:33:12,081 --> 01:33:13,617
I'm gonna head
back to the office.
1541
01:33:13,752 --> 01:33:14,992
I'm really sorry for your loss.
1542
01:33:15,050 --> 01:33:16,284
- Thank you.
- Thanks, Sarah.
1543
01:33:16,420 --> 01:33:18,216
Bye.
1544
01:33:18,352 --> 01:33:20,085
I can't believe
Stella told him that.
1545
01:33:20,220 --> 01:33:21,794
Well, he probably cornered her,
1546
01:33:21,929 --> 01:33:23,833
and they have Martha's
computer and her cell phone.
1547
01:33:23,857 --> 01:33:24,858
Mm.
1548
01:33:24,993 --> 01:33:26,458
Do you know if they talked?
1549
01:33:26,593 --> 01:33:28,899
No, I don't know, she
didn't tell me anything.
1550
01:33:30,063 --> 01:33:31,795
What do you wanna do?
1551
01:33:31,930 --> 01:33:34,250
I need to go back to the house
and pack up Martha's things.
1552
01:33:35,241 --> 01:33:36,241
Sorry.
1553
01:33:37,606 --> 01:33:39,111
Hello?
1554
01:33:39,247 --> 01:33:40,471
Uh, speaking.
1555
01:33:42,582 --> 01:33:43,842
It's Michelle.
1556
01:33:43,977 --> 01:33:45,146
Martha's daughter?
1557
01:33:45,978 --> 01:33:47,179
Yes, of course.
1558
01:33:47,315 --> 01:33:49,317
No, no, of course
you can come over.
1559
01:33:49,453 --> 01:33:52,692
I'm headed there right now.
I'll text you the address.
1560
01:33:54,089 --> 01:33:56,157
Okay, I'll see you soon. Bye.
1561
01:33:58,166 --> 01:34:00,828
Wow. Wow.
1562
01:34:00,963 --> 01:34:02,893
I'm headed back to the city,
1563
01:34:03,029 --> 01:34:05,837
so tell me when you're back and
I'll help you with your move.
1564
01:34:07,035 --> 01:34:08,939
Thank you for everything.
1565
01:34:11,770 --> 01:34:14,010
And you can tell me how
it went with Michelle.
1566
01:34:14,643 --> 01:34:15,643
I will.
1567
01:34:17,545 --> 01:34:19,752
- Thanks. I'll call you, okay?
- Okay. Take care.
1568
01:34:53,454 --> 01:34:54,688
Hello, I'm Michelle.
1569
01:34:55,553 --> 01:34:56,553
I'm Ingrid.
1570
01:34:57,686 --> 01:34:58,686
Hi.
1571
01:35:02,124 --> 01:35:04,698
- Let's go inside, okay?
- Yeah.
1572
01:35:07,994 --> 01:35:08,999
Come on in.
1573
01:35:15,205 --> 01:35:16,868
Do you wanna see
your mother's room?
1574
01:35:17,003 --> 01:35:18,635
Yes, please.
1575
01:35:18,770 --> 01:35:20,637
It's right down there.
Right down the hall.
1576
01:35:48,740 --> 01:35:50,133
I made some coffee.
1577
01:35:50,269 --> 01:35:51,541
Would you like some?
1578
01:35:51,677 --> 01:35:53,270
Uh, I also have tea.
1579
01:35:53,406 --> 01:35:55,742
No, coffee's great. Thank you.
1580
01:35:55,877 --> 01:35:56,882
Here you go.
1581
01:36:01,446 --> 01:36:02,717
Did she tell you about me?
1582
01:36:02,852 --> 01:36:06,050
Of course she did.
1583
01:36:06,185 --> 01:36:10,387
And she told me you were very upset
that you never met your father.
1584
01:36:10,523 --> 01:36:11,921
So she told you about my father?
1585
01:36:12,057 --> 01:36:13,397
She did.
1586
01:36:15,002 --> 01:36:16,602
Don't you think she
could have helped him
1587
01:36:16,671 --> 01:36:18,429
when he came back from the war?
1588
01:36:18,565 --> 01:36:21,038
She helped him as
best she could.
1589
01:36:21,173 --> 01:36:24,210
Your father came back
very badly damaged
1590
01:36:24,346 --> 01:36:26,944
and he wanted to move to another
city and start a new life.
1591
01:36:27,080 --> 01:36:30,809
His plans never
included you or Martha.
1592
01:36:30,944 --> 01:36:34,645
And your mother accepted the
end of the relationship and...
1593
01:36:36,054 --> 01:36:37,681
And she saw him
in such a bad way
1594
01:36:37,816 --> 01:36:39,925
that she gave him a kiss
to give him some peace
1595
01:36:40,060 --> 01:36:42,257
and that kiss turned
into something more.
1596
01:36:44,327 --> 01:36:46,195
And you are the
fruit of that moment.
1597
01:36:47,793 --> 01:36:50,529
My mother never told
me anything about that.
1598
01:36:50,665 --> 01:36:52,802
It's a difficult thing
to explain to a child.
1599
01:36:52,938 --> 01:36:54,533
She could have told me later.
1600
01:36:55,600 --> 01:36:56,975
By then you were so estranged
1601
01:36:57,110 --> 01:36:58,878
that she didn't feel it
was possible anymore.
1602
01:37:00,339 --> 01:37:02,480
She was a teenager,
1603
01:37:02,616 --> 01:37:03,815
she had a life to live,
1604
01:37:03,950 --> 01:37:06,444
and your father
moved to San Diego
1605
01:37:06,580 --> 01:37:08,019
and he made no
effort to know you.
1606
01:37:19,125 --> 01:37:20,361
So, Ingrid,
1607
01:37:22,336 --> 01:37:25,531
do you think I was totally
mistaken about Martha?
1608
01:37:26,638 --> 01:37:29,441
You were unfair,
1609
01:37:29,576 --> 01:37:32,769
but no one can blame you for
wanting to know who your father was.
1610
01:37:35,813 --> 01:37:37,146
It's a sad story,
1611
01:37:37,281 --> 01:37:39,149
it was very painful
for both of you.
1612
01:37:43,186 --> 01:37:44,823
Don't be so hard on yourself,
1613
01:37:44,959 --> 01:37:46,552
Martha wasn't the
perfect mother.
1614
01:37:48,187 --> 01:37:49,489
No, she wasn't.
1615
01:37:54,129 --> 01:37:55,693
Can I stay here tonight?
1616
01:37:55,828 --> 01:37:58,696
Yes, of course. This
is your mother's house!
1617
01:38:02,501 --> 01:38:04,875
Dear Martha,
1618
01:38:05,011 --> 01:38:07,691
I thought you'd like to know I've
come back to the house in the woods
1619
01:38:07,716 --> 01:38:09,212
to gather up your things.
1620
01:38:11,511 --> 01:38:13,981
Your daughter came to see me.
1621
01:38:14,116 --> 01:38:15,647
I'm still shaking.
1622
01:38:16,690 --> 01:38:19,423
She looks so like you.
1623
01:38:19,558 --> 01:38:22,893
She asked me if she could
stay and sleep in your bed...
1624
01:38:23,028 --> 01:38:24,590
and, of course, I said yes.
1625
01:38:26,729 --> 01:38:29,034
I think your death has
brought her closer to you.
1626
01:38:33,139 --> 01:38:35,774
I never thought I'd inherit her,
1627
01:38:35,909 --> 01:38:37,911
even if it's just for a day.
1628
01:38:39,143 --> 01:38:41,343
The house is filled with you.
1629
01:38:44,384 --> 01:38:48,044
When I came in, after
talking to the police,
1630
01:38:48,179 --> 01:38:50,550
the first thing I saw was
the door of your room,
1631
01:38:52,022 --> 01:38:54,554
and it was open.
1632
01:38:54,689 --> 01:38:57,792
And I said to myself,
"She's alive."
1633
01:39:31,758 --> 01:39:33,923
I came out here to
listen to the birds.
1634
01:39:36,598 --> 01:39:38,400
Your mother would
get up like this,
1635
01:39:39,539 --> 01:39:40,798
at dawn,
1636
01:39:42,039 --> 01:39:43,471
and lie right there.
1637
01:39:48,650 --> 01:39:51,347
Look, it's snowing.
1638
01:40:00,420 --> 01:40:01,720
The snow is falling.
1639
01:40:04,426 --> 01:40:05,728
It's falling on the lonely pool
1640
01:40:05,864 --> 01:40:07,165
we never used.
1641
01:40:09,529 --> 01:40:10,795
It's falling on the woods,
1642
01:40:11,872 --> 01:40:14,002
where we walked and you lay,
1643
01:40:14,138 --> 01:40:16,504
exhausted, on the ground.
1644
01:40:19,244 --> 01:40:21,443
Falling on your
daughter and on me.
1645
01:40:24,811 --> 01:40:26,943
Falling upon the
living and the dead.